Just Upon a Smile
by soundsobeautiful
Summary: Clare was prone to deja vu, just not of a life that was her own.
1. Chapter 1

"Leave me _alone._" a small girls voice called out as she sat among a sandbox in the middle of the park. She held up her hands to avoid the sand that was being kicked at her by two young boys who had found their own personal joy in tormenting her. Her mom had brought her there earlier that morning, and as usual she settled into a seat beside a friend on a bench and hadn't glanced another look at her since.

Clare wasn't like most 7 year olds. She had never liked the park much. She didn't appreciate the dirty informal feel of it all and she especially didn't like that every time she came, the dress she chose to wear inevitably ended up dirty. Her father had always said that Clare was born 50 years too early and that even as young as she was, she was very mature for her age. Clare had known, even then that he was right. When she closed her eyes, she never imagined recent events or memories she's had. She always had visions of old buildings, old cars and woman and men dressed in clothes that would be considered antiques in the present day. She had no idea where these images came from, but somehow she knew that they were no stranger to her.

"I said, leave me alone!" She shrieked as she stood up and brushed off her dress, "You're getting me dirty!"

"Oh no, four eyes is getting all dirty." One of the boys with a pig nose and dirty blonde hair squealed with laughter.

This had Clare in rage. She hated to think she even had to wear her glasses, and she hated being teased about it. Once she'd tried to go an entire day of kindergarten without wearing them. She was unable to see anything and ended up running into the door frame as she went to exit the room, causing her nose to bleed. Her teacher ended up calling her parents during lunch to pick her up and she spent the rest of the day in bed crying. After seeing a commercial on the TV, she begged her parents to let her get contacts, but they told her she was too young.

"Don't call me that!" She shouted and pushed the pig nosed boy backwards. Fury covered his face as he jumped up and shoved her back, making her fall down into the sand and the wooden outside of the box dug into her back.

She bit her lip trying to hold back the angry tears that fought at the corner of her eyes. She refused to allow herself to show weakness to these immature boys, but the pain in her back burned like a fire. The pain almost took over and she almost gave in to the tears, but before she could a voice called out.

"Hey, get away from her!"

She looked up, expecting to see her mom, but the voice hadn't quite fit and confusion struck her when she noticed the silhouette of a boy approaching them. When he came more into focus, something inside of her ignited. She knew she'd never seen him before, but her little heart continued to accelerate as he came within inches of her and her bullies. His hair was dark and his skin was white, but the most astonishing thing was the green of his eyes. They were unforgettable. She felt herself become light headed and before she could get a word in she felt her eyes close and her head fell back.

"_Alice." a voice spoke, deep and smooth to her ears. It was a familiar voice that she loved to hear and she felt her body tingle as he brushed his lips against her ear, "Come with me."_

"_I can't." She whimpered, her heart was fighting a battle against her mind, "Daddy would be so upset."_

"_You have to stop caring what everyone else thinks and only pay attention to what you want!"_

_The raised tone of his voice caught her off guard, but she knew he was right. She'd spent her entire life trying to make her parents happy. If they'd found out she'd fallen in love with a working hand on their ranch, they'd have her locked away for life. But she couldn't help who she'd fallen in love with. His warm brown hair and beautiful green eyes sent her heart soaring in ways it never had before. She knew the moment she sat eyes on William Pierce that she loved him. She'd fallen for him so completely that she spent most days laying in her yard, watching him work. It wasn't until he spoke to her and confided that he loved her too, that she realized that she would be his forever._

"_I love you Alice Desmond." he said, his southern accent heavy on his lips., "I want to be with you forever. I can't lose you again."_

_She nodded as she chewed on the edge of her lip, "I love you too William." _

"Clare!" the small girl heard a voice come into her mind as she woke from her faint. She felt sick to her stomach and as if she was going to puke, but she held the feeling back as she opened her eyes and saw her mom crouched above her. She had her hands placed on Clare's cheeks and as she looked up at her, a relieved smile spread across her face.

"Sweetie you gave me a heart attack!" She exclaimed as she pulled her close to her with a tight hug. Clare moved her head to the side, desperate to catch another glimpse of the boy from before but to her dismay, he was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

That was the first time Clare had experienced a memory of which was not her own, but it was not her last. On and off for the next 9 years, Clare had visions of Alice and William. She had no idea who they were or where the memories came from, but to her it felt more like a reminisce than a dream. Sometimes it happened when she slept, but it mostly would happen when she'd faint. Her parents had her checked at the doctors more than once, worried that something might be severely wrong with their daughter, but nothing ever came from it. Someone suggested that she might be exhausted, but she slept perfectly sound through the 'd always been a peaceful girl. Never spoke out of line or misbehaved. But one night, she really frightened her parents. It was only a few days after the incident at the park when she came down the stairs into the living room with the biggest suit case she could find in the house. She had packed it up with as many of her things as she could and as she stopped at the door, her hand on the knob, she looked at her parents who were sitting together on the couch watching a movie.

"I'm leaving." She said to them abruptly with confidence heavy in her voice.

Confused and a little worried, her Father asked her, "Why?"

"I can't lie to you anymore Father, I'm in love with William Pierce and we're running away together."

"Who?" He asked curiously.

"Don't pretend you don't know Daddy," She sighed, "William. Your farmhand. We've been in love for a long time now and I can't hide it anymore."

At this point, her dad thought she was only playing around, and decided to play along.

"And where do you two plan on going?"

"New York." She smiled wide as if she'd just heard the best news in the world, "He's got family there and we're going to buy an apartment and start our life together."

"Oh really. Well, don't you think you're a little young?"

"Love doesn't have an age Dad. It's in everything everyone does. It's all around and now I've found it, and I don't plan on letting it go."

"Clare…" he began, but he was interrupted when her face turned to a confused frown.

"Clare?" She asked confused, "Who's Clare, Dad? I'm Alice."

"Alice?" Her Mom broke in, but her Dad looked at her with a wink and chuckled as he turned back to play along.

"Well, Alice," He began, "I think maybe you should give it a little more time. Don't you think?""Ugh!" Clare threw her hands up in the air in frustration, "I knew you would react this way. I should have just snuck out like I'd originally planned. I just didn't want to hurt Mother and you by leaving without saying goodbye. You have to let me go!"

"Okay Clare, no more playing around. Take the bag back up to your room and put your things away. It's time for bed."

"Goodbye Dad, Goodbye Mom. I love you." She said and blew them a kiss before opening the door.

She made it halfway down the walkway before her Dad picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. He carried her and the suit case back up the stairs and Clare continued to scream and speak unmentionable words the entire way until he dropped her on her bed, and then locked her door as he left. That night, she cried herself to sleep and had no memory of the event in the morning.

* * *

At the age of 16, Clare had learned to ignore the visions. They scared her, because she didn't know where they were coming from, or why she'd had them. Of course, she'd fallen in love with the couple that was Alice and William, but she couldn't allow herself to faint everyday. Every time she felt herself becoming light headed and on the verge of fainting, she quickly put her focus on something else or change her thoughts completely. For the past year, she'd been completely vision free and she was starting out her sophomore year on a new foot. She was ready to change her reputation from the weird girl with glasses that fainted all the time. This year, she'd stopped fainting, cut her hair, and her parents even allowed her to have laser eye surgery, removing the need for glasses. She felt like a new person and she was ready to show it.

"Wow Clare," He best friend Alli spoke as they met in the hallway, "You look amazing."

"Thanks." Clare smiled, putting her old pair of glasses in her locker, "I feel amazing."

"So, no more glasses, no more long hair…"

"And no more visions." Clare grinned, finishing her sentence.

"Oh thank God. They were really starting to worry me. Not that they don't make for a good story though, right?"

Suddenly Clare felt the heavy presence of the book she was writing her in bag. She'd started it in Elementary school, writing up to 10 pages a day with memories and thoughts from Alice. The story of Alice and William made a very interesting love story. From what she had gathered from her visions, Alice was from a rich family and had grown up in Toronto. She had always been well off and always had everything she wanted. She hated to say she was spoiled, but the evidence was there. Which was why it was such a shock that she'd fallen in love with William Pierce. He was a young boy who's family never had much. He'd grow up in Southern Georgia, but as soon as he'd turned 18 he moved to Toronto with his best friend, wanting to get as far away as they could. Living in Toronto by themselves was a lot harder than they'd expected and they ended up parting ways. Alone and poorer than ever, William found a job working on the Desmond's farm and that's how him and Alice had met.

"Sure they make a good story, but I need to live my own life now. I'm tired of thinking about somebody else's."

"Clare, you don't actually think these were real people do you?"

She didn't want to answer because she knew it would sound stupid. How could she be remembering someone else's life? It was impossible. But the clarity of the visions were unbelievably real, and the amount she remembered was even realer.

"No, of course not." She gave a convincing chuckle, "I just mean the fictional characters life."

"Well, whoever's live that is, were going to be late for class in our own. Come on, let's go."

Clare nodded and opened her bag, taking out the book and shoved it in her locker before shutting it and then headed to class.


	3. Chapter 3

"I can't believe Jenna thought you had a boob job." Alli said with disgust as her and Clare left the school after the final bell. It had turned out that Clare's ex-boyfriends new girlfriend had spread a rumor that she'd gotten implants. Of course Clare had taken the higher road and didn't humiliate her completely. No one had realized she'd gotten laser eye surgery though. No one had realized she wasn't wearing her glasses at all.

"I give you a 9 for making Jenna squirm and a 9.9 for wiping that grin off her face." Alli giggled as they walked down the sidewalk outside of the school on their way home.

"It was pretty satisfying." Clare smiled wide in looked at her with a straight face and then smirked, nudging her playfully, "I hardly recognize you anymore."

"And yet so few people have notices how I really changed." She sighed as she looked at the students around her. She reached into her purse and pulled out her old pare of glasses, looking down at them as she walked, "Maybe I should, I don't know, got back to the old me."She held them up, prepared to put them back on her face, but she was stopped by Alli's hands, fighting to tug them away from her.

"Uh no way!" She tryed to get them out of her hands, but instead in the process knocked them from both of their hands and to the cement beneath them. Before either of the could grab them though, the tire of a car ran them over, crushing them completely.

"Oh! My glasses!" Clare exclaimed as she looked at the smashed pieces. Her mouth fell open in shock as she looked up to the car. It wasn't a usual car, but a hearse instead. As weird as that should have been, she couldn't wrap her mind around it as it stopped and a boy got out. Her and Alli both watched as he walked over and picked up the glasses, examining them himself.

"I think they're dead." He said, looking at Clare as he held them out to , she felt the earth shake beneath her. As she reached out to grab the glasses from the boy, her head began to get light and she could feel a faint coming on. She tried her hardest to focus on something else, anything to keep her from falling to the ground right there, and settled on the thought that her glasses had just been crushed. It hadn't bothered her too bad, because she didn't need them anymore. What did bother her, was her sudden lack of words.

"Uh, it's okay… I… uh… I don't need them anymore… got…. laser surgery." She looked into his eyes, and the sudden increased rapid thumping of her heart surprised her. It felt like a humming bird inside her chest. His eyes were the same familiar green that she'd been trying so desperately to forget. For a good few seconds they stood there staring into each others eyes, and she felt every nerve in her body tingling.

You have pretty eyes." he spoke.

She fought to stay afloat as she stared into his eyes, but the dizziness of her mind took over and before she could reply, her knees buckled from beneath her and everything went black

* * *

"_You've never told me…" Alice spoke, her hands interlace with Williams as they walked together around her back yard. Her parents had left for a party that evening and she'd lied about being sick so she could stay home and spend time with him._

"_I've never told you what?" He asked curious as he gave Alice's hand a gentle hesitated for a moment and blushed when their eyes met, "You've never told me why you love me."_

_He seemed caught off guard by her words, but smiled wide at her anyways._

"_My dear," he began and stopped, guiding her to sit beside him at a bench beneath a tree, "Do you truly think there are words to describe how I feel about you?"_

_She chuckled slightly, "I'd like you to try."_

_He paused for a moment and looked across the yard to her house, thinking, before turning back to her, "I love the way you speak. You're far more intelligent than any girl I've ever met before. I love the way you stand up for yourself, your confidence. The way you ramble on when you're nervous," he paused and leaned his face in to hers and brushed his nose softly against her neck, "I love the way you smell and the way your smile seems to widen to no extent when you first see me in the morning. I love that, regardless of what your parents have told you, you never let it keep you from me."_

"_You're very lucky for that," she interrupted with a chuckle._

"_I love the way you always have to give your two cents," he smirked and let out a laugh, "And… I love your eyes."_

_She felt her cheeks warm with a blush as she turned from him, but he stopped her with his fingers, turning her face back to his own. She looked into his emerald eyes and felt her body blaze with passion for the boy before her. Never had she loved someone or something so much in her entire life._

"_But most of all," he began as he inched his face closer to hers, "I love that you love me."_

_She pressed her lips eagerly to his and kissed him so fiercely she thought her lips were going to fall off._

* * *

She awoke that night in her own bed. The curtain was closed, but she could tell even then that it was no longer day time. Her head was pounding, but she could swear that she could feel Alice and Williams kiss on her lips. She brushed her fingers softly against them and they tingled. She stretched and stood up, confused on how she'd gotten there, but determined to find out. She exited her room and headed down stairs to the living room where her parents sat.

"Oh you're up." her mom spoke as she entered the room, "Finally."

"You gave us a real scare Clare." her dad added on as she took a seat beside them.

"I'm really sorry about that…" she apologized and paused for a moment before she continued on, "By the way, how did I get home?"

"Alli and some boy brought you." her mom told her, disapproval heavy in her felt her face flush.

She didn't even know the boy, but the embarrassment flooded over her like a waterfall. She had fainted in front of him, and he'd brought her home, and he didn't even know who she was. The first cute guy she'd spoken to in a long time, and she'd ruined it already.

Why had she fainted again? After going a year without doing it once, she'd done it in the worst possible way at the worst possible time.

"I thought you'd stopped fainting Clare." Her mom spoke in a concerned voice.

"I thought I had too." she replied as she stared at the floor.

"Well then why are you doing it again?" She asked, "Did you… see anything this time?"

"Just Alice and William again." Clare sighed.

Her mom let out a breath and nodded, "Again."

"It's always them mom."

"Maybe you should see a therapist sweetie."

"Oh right," She scoffed, "Because that worked so well the first time."

A few years before her parents had signed her up for a therapist, and the most he could come up with was that she was possessed. That's what they got for choosing a therapist who was also a very religious pastor.

"A different one this time, Clare. A woman who goes to my book club was telling me about her. She said that she's experienced with things like this.""What exactly is this?" She asked, feeling as if her mom was trying to call her crazy.

She only let out a sigh, "You know what I mean Clare."

"Well, I don't think any therapist is going to work."

"I guess we'll find out," she said, "because I've already made you an appointment."

Before Clare could get another word in, the door bell rang. She rolled her eyes at her mother and then went to answer it.

She was surprised by who she saw on the other side. Standing before her was the same boy she'd fainted in front of earlier that day.

"You're up." He said and smiled.

"Uhm, yeah." She nodded, trying not to look into his eyes, afraid she might faint again.

He took a step back, waiting for her to come out and she did just that, shutting the door behind her.

"What are you doing here?"

"What, I can't be worried about you?" He asked with a smirk, "I mean you did faint right in front of me."

She tilted her head to the side, "You're worried about me. A girl you don't even know. Are you sure that's all?"

He stayed silent for a moment as if he couldn't put the real reason into words and then blinked a few times before he spoke, "I needed to ask you a question."

"A question…" she repeated him, "Okay, what is it?"

Again, he paused before he spoke as if he didn't know how to say what he wanted to say.

"Would your name happen to be Alice?"

At that moment, her breathing stopped and she felt her world begin to spin. She had to sit down on the steps beneath her just to make sure she didn't fall. She held her head in her hands and forced herself to breathe. She tried to think of anything else that she could that would keep her from fainting in front of him again. Calculus, trigonometry, her home address. Anything.

"Are you okay?" He asked while trying to look at her.

"I'm fine," she said, out of breath even though she hadn't been running, "It's just… no."

"Oh." he said. She couldn't help but notice the sound of disappointment in his voice, "Okay. Sorry. I didn't mean to bother you."

She realized just how stupid she must have seemed at that moment. Alice was a very common name. He could have been talking about anyone.

"No, I'm sorry." She said and looked up at him, "I just overreacted."

"It's alright." he chuckled, "You seem very eccentric."

"That's very observant of you." She said with sting in her tone.

He chuckled and shook his head, "I didn't mean it as a bad thing. You just, remind me of someone."

"Alice?" she raised an eyebrow.

He smiled, "Yes, actually."

"Who exactly is she?"

"I don't think that's any of your business if you're not her." he said, the same smile still wide on his face.

"Okay fine then."

"Well, since we've established that you're not Alice… can I know your real name?"

She smiled back and him and nodded her head, "It's Clare."

"Clare." He repeated it, "That's pretty."

"Thanks." she said, "Am I allowed to know yours?"

"If you have to know, it's Eli. Short for Elijah."

"That's a nice name too."

They stood there in silence for a few moments, a silence that to anyone else would feel awkward. But to Clare, she felt like she'd done it a million times. She felt, comfortable even.

"Well, I'm gonna go then."

She stood up, "Right, of course."

"It was nice meeting you Clare, despite the circumstances."

"You too." she nodded her head in reply and waved as he began to walk back to his car. She watched as he opened the door of the hearse, but stopped before he got in.

"Oh, and by the way, if you do see an Alice around," he began as he held the door open, "Tell her William's looking for her."

With that, he got into his car and drove away leaving Clare in complete shock.

* * *

**(Please leave me some reviews you guys! I love getting your imput. It makes writing really worth while :D)**


	4. Chapter 4

"You know, it could be a coincidence Clare." Alli said from the other end of the phone. Clare had called her for emotional support as she sat outside of her new therapists office. After arguing with her Mom for hours, she was finally forced into going to the appointment that was made.

"A coincidence that he knows an Alice and a William?" She raised an eyebrow, "That's a bit uncanny I think."

"So you think he knows a woman and a man who lived in the 1940's?"

Clare had to admit that out loud it sounded much stupider than in her head.

"Maybe they live in an Amish community."

"You're being paranoid Clare."

She let out a sigh and shrugged, "I know, you're right."

"Just go to your appointment… which you're about to be late for."

Clare looked down at her watch, "I have a minute left to spare."

"Clare Edwards I will not be your excuse for missing this appointment. Get in there now."

Before Clare could get a word in reply, there was a click and the line went dead. She sighed heavily and shoved her phone back in her purse before she climbed the stoop to the entranced and opened the door.

The interior of the therapists office was airy and modern. It was sterile and lifeless like a computer factory and she felt as if she was making the room dirty, just by being in it. She took a few steps forward and after realizing that no harm was being done, she approached the receptionists desk.

"Uhm, hi," She began quietly, feeling awkward in this new environment.

"Hello!" The receptionist squeaked. She was perky and blonde and not a day over 20. She smiled up at Clare with bright white teeth that sat behind a wide smile.

"I'm Clare Edwards. I have an appointment."

"Oh right, Clare!" The woman smiled wider and stood up, "Dr. Irvington is waiting for you. Follow me right this way."

Clare did as she was told and followed the perky blonde down a small hall to a dark brown door. She opened it up and stepped in, leaving Clare behind in the hallway. She stood there waiting for a second before the blonde stepped back out with the same wide grin.

"She's ready for you now." She held the door open and Clare nodded as she went in.

For how cold and clean the outside office had seemed, Dr. Irvington's room was anything but that. It was warm and cozy. In the middle of the room there was a long couch filled with fluffy cushions just begging to be laid on. Beside it was a chair, no doubt for the therapist to sit in while she questioned Clare about her life. She looked across the room, and sitting at a dark wooden desk was a woman who was undoubtedly Dr. Irvington. She was a lanky woman. Her skin was a warm brown and her hair was a mess of curls falling down to her shoulders. She looked up at Clare with eyes hidden behind think rimmed glasses and smiled a kind smile at her as she stood up and made her way towards her.

"Clare Edwards," she began as she held her hand out to shake Clare's "I've heard so much about you."

"All good things I hope." Clare chuckled as she followed the doctor over to the couch. She sat down on it awkwardly, her knees touching together as she watched Dr. Irvington sit in the chair.

The therapist paused for a moment as she sat, "All… interesting things."

Clare swallowed silently and looked down at her hands.

"Not that interesting isn't good!" she exclaimed, "Interesting is very good. Very fun. I like fun.""Listen Dr. Irvington…"

"Call me Marlene."

Clare nodded, "Right. Marlene. I really don't even have a reason for being here. My mom made this appointment and basically forced me into it. I'm sort of wasting your time."

The therapist smiled, "My time is never wasted Clare. I just need you to open your mind to me."

"There's nothing to open up about…" Clare spoke quietly, staring down at her hands as she held them in her lap.

"Are you sure?" Dr. Irvington raised her eyebrow.

Clare nodded.

"Well, that's not what your Mom told me."

"Ugh," Clare sighed, "What did she tell you?"

"She told some, but not much. I'd really love to hear it from you."

"Why? You'll just say I'm crazy."

"Crazy? I would never call you crazy. I just want to try and help you."

"I don't think you can."

"Well, I can at least try."

So Clare began her story, telling this stranger everything she could remember. From the first vision in the park, the time she tried to run away and didn't remember. Everything up until the moment she'd had with the mysterious boy named Eli, outside of her house. Everything spilled out so effortlessly, every detail, perfectly. She should have felt foolish, sharing something as personal as this, but she didn't at all. She felt almost relived. What she was even more relived about was the fact that Dr. Irvington didn't look at her in disbelief, or like she was insane. She listened intently and scribbled in a book she held, ever so often. She seemed genuinely interested by Clare's stories and it made her want to tell eventually, she fell silent, unable to think of anything else to say. She stopped, but the therapist scribbled on for a good few minutes. Awkwardly in silence, Clare fidgeted her fingers, then nervously shoved them beneath her legs, holding them down.

"Are you going to say anything?" She asked in a whisper, her eyes never leaving the woman beside .

Irvington looked up from her notepad with a kind smile on her face and nodded, "This is all very interesting stuff Clare."

"Interesting… interesting is still good right?" She was nervous. Anyone else she'd told all this too would think she was lacking a brain.

The doctor nodded again, "Very good."

"Do you think I'm crazy now?"She shook her head, "Not at all.""Then what do you think? What are you writing down?"

The woman looked at her book and then back at Clare, "Just notes, so I don't forget anything."Clare felt her heart lighten, "Oh okay. Well, what do you think all of this means?"

"I don't know…."

Clare's smile fell, and she could feel it.

"But I have a theory."

"A theory, that's good. Better than nothing."

"You have to promise you'll keep an open mind."

"At this point, I'll take anything."

Dr. Irvington took a deep breath and let it out with a smile, "Clare, have you ever heard of reincarnation?"

"Of course. Who hasn't?"

"Well, think about it. Do you think that it's possible that you may have been Alice in a past life?"

Clare sat silent for a moment. It's not that she'd never considered the possibility of it, it's just that she so badly wanted to believe in the thought of Heaven that she always pushed the idea to the back of her head.

"Well… I've only thought about it a little bit."

"I happen to be an active supporter of the idea of reincarnation, and you've only added onto my beliefs."

"You really think that's what's going on here?"

"I think there's a very good possibility."

"Wow, that's a lot to process."

"It is," Dr. Irvington nodded, "But I definitely think you should think about it."

Clare nodded, her eyes gazing across the room at something that wasn't really there.

"And this boy, Eli, I think possibly he might have been William."

Clare felt her cheeks flush with warmth. She was sure they were bright red and she tried her hardest to keep her eyes averted from her.

"Every time you seem to go near him, the visions seem to come forth. And for him to know about Alice and William, that just seems uncanny."

Clare stayed silent, but all kinds of new ideas rushed around her head. She shook it swiftly and then locked her eyes back with Dr. Irvington's.

"I need to go."

"Might as well, our times just about up anyways."

Clare nodded and stood up, playing with the hem of her dress as she did.

"I know this is a lot to wrap your mind around, Clare," She began as she watched her stand, "I really hope you'll come back and we can talk more about this."

"Yes, of course thank you." Clare replied as she moved quickly to the door and then left the room.


	5. Chapter 5

_You can do this Clare._ She told herself these words over and over in her head, but it didn't make the task ahead any easier. She hugged her binder close to her body, standing at the corner of the hallway, hearing the hustle and bustle of her school mates around her. Their jumbled voices filled her head, making it hard for her to hear herself think, which probably wasn't too bad of a thing. It would be just her luck to fall here and faint in front of everyone. She'd tried her entire life to lay low and remain in the background… she didn't need to be known as the girl who fainted in the hallway.

"He's just a boy…" she whispered to herself, her eyes closed shut.

She'd practiced the entire night, thinking of his face without fainting. She failed miserably the first time her mind drifted to his green eyes. One minute she was sitting on her bed in the light of her desk table, and the next she was sitting on the edge of a window in a room she only vaguely knew.

_"William Pierce… if you don't show up I swear…" She took a deep breath and let her eyes scan over the yard again. It was dark, the only light coming from the full moon over head. Luckily her eyes had adjusted and she could even make out the family cat, chasing fireflies in the yard below. But after ten minutes of waiting, she had yet to see William. They had made secret plans earlier that day to spend the night together and Alice couldn't make the butterflies in her stomach go away, nor the flush of her cheeks. To say she was nervous, was an understatement. She'd never spent the night with a boy before in her entire life. But then again, she'd never felt for anyone the way she felt for William. He was everything to her and more. Nothing in her life had meant as much to her as this boy, and that terrified her. How could someone mean everything to you? He had her entire heart in his hands and at any given moment he could crush it. That thought terrified her. She'd never been so dependant on something in her life. And yet she couldn't help but feel like this was natural for her, like she'd loved him forever and that she always closed her eyes and leaned her head against the window frame, letting her mind fill with images of the boy she loved. She wasn't aware how long it was she sat there, but soon she felt a small pebble hit her arm. Her eyes flew open and she looked forward, seeing a figure standing beneath her. _

_"Falling asleep without me, huh?" He chucked in a whisper._

_"I was starting to think you weren't coming." she replied quietly and tilted her head with a smile. She noticed he was holding a sack in his hand, but she refrained from asking questions. Instead, she pushed herself from the window and climbed down the lattice awning below, being careful not to fall. It didn't matter, because before she could even reach the bottom she felt her body being grabbed and soon she was held between a pair of warm arms. She turned her face and met William's smile. So bright and comforting. She couldn't help but leaned her head into his._

_"I missed you." He whispered and kissed her cheek._

_"You only left a few hours ago."_

_"A few hours too many, away from you." _

_She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close to her, pressing their lips gently together._

_"We've got to go." he whispered, his lips still close to hers, "Before someone wakes up and catches us."_

_"Where are we going?" she asked curiously as he intertwined their fingers and lead her away from her house._

_"It's a secret."_

_She pouted, "You know I don't like secrets."_

_"You'll love this one, trust me."_

_She wasn't aware of how long they'd been walking, but she could feel the sole of her feet begin to ache, and as she was about to open her mouth to complain, she was interrupted by a sound._

_"What is that?" She asked, trying to make it out._

_"A creek."_

_"A creek!" She squealed in disbelief, "William, how far have we walked?"_

_"Not far. But no one will catch us out here."_

_Just as he finished his sentence, they stepped through a few bushes and came out on the other side in front of a decent sized creek. The water rippled in front of them and the ground become softer beneath her feet._

_"Come on." he smiled and dropped the bag. He reached down and grabbed a blanket from the bag before spreading it out in front of her._

_"You planned this all out perfectly hmm?" She smiled and stepped forward towards him._

_"I'd never imagined it would have worked out so easily." he chuckled. He took her hand and pulled her closer to him and pressed a kiss to her lips, and smiled as he pulled back. He looked at the water, and then back to her, nodding towards the creek._

_"What?"_

_"Come on." he said and stepped away, pulling his shirt from his head._

_Now the shirtless body of William Pierce was nothing new to Alice. But she couldn't help but lose her breath at the sight of him. How had God created such a beautiful human being, and how had she become so lucky as to have him as her own?_

_She felt her cheeks blush with warm as she averted his eyes, realizing that he hadn't stopped at his shirt._

_"William, I can't…"_

_"Oh Alice…" he began, and she heard his feet break into the creek, splashing as they did, "Live a little."_

_She stared at her feet and slowly kicked off her shoes, feeling her toes slink into the soft earth._

_"Alice Rose Desmond," she heard him speak, but still didn't dare look his way, "Get in this water right now."_

_She heard the hint of laughter in his voice and felt the splash of water his her face. She glared and finally glanced over at him. He was covered by the water to his waist and she felt her heart flutter._

_"Don't make me come over there and drag you into this water."_

_"I'm coming!" She snapped back and then slowly began to slide her skirt down her legs, "Don't watch me."_

_"I wouldn't dare." He smiled and playfully covered his eyes with his hands._

_As soon as she was sure he wasn't looking, she stripped down to her underwear and rapidly moved to the water, making sure to get in as deep as she could. She didn't stop until her body was pressed up to his._

_"Am I allowed to look now?" He asked, his eyebrows raised._

_"Yes." She nodded and took his hands._

_Silence fell over them and his face fell blank as he looked at her._

_"What?" she asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious._

_"You're so beautiful…" he finally spoke, his eyes not leaving her once._

_"Oh shush." she said, hiding her face against his chest._

_"I'm seriously." he said, pulling her face back up to his, his voice was soft now, "I wonder sometimes… how I ever became such a lucky man to get a girl like you."_

_"That's funny," he laughed softly, "I wonder the same thing sometimes… how God ever saw me fit to be with you."_

_"We're perfect for each other."_

_She nodded, and then felt his hand on her face softly, and they kissed. The beginning of a long series of kisses that didn't end until they'd fallen asleep._

Clare had woken the next morning with the burning of fiery passion Alice and William had shared, scorching through her body.  
She tried hard to forget that memory as she stood in the hallway. She opened her eyes and looked around at the hundreds of faces she didn't recognize and then quickly remembered the task at hand


	6. Chapter 6

He was standing at his locker when she found him, aimlessly messing with things inside. He had no idea she was there, but her heart was pounding a million miles an hour as she watched him. She felt stuck, because she knew she wanted to talk to him, but she hadn't actually thought out what she would say when she did.

Taking in a deep breath, she stepped forward and continued to go, not allowing herself to stop until she was within inches of him. She panicked and her mind screamed at her to turn around and leave, but it was too late because as she began to turn to leave, his eyes met hers.

"Hey," he smiled as he stopped what he was doing and flashed a smile at her, "what a pleasant surprise."

Clare's mouth fell, but words didn't come out. She stood trying to search through her brain for words to stay, but she drew a blank.

He smirked and placed his hand on the door of his locker, holding it open, "You okay?"

She nodded and took a step forward, telling herself over and over again to be confident, "Yeah, I'm fine."

He waited for a minute and then continued to rummage through his locker, "So are you just here for my pleasure, or was there something you wanted?"

She closed her eyes and tried hard to remember what it was she was there for. Finally after a few seconds, she remembered and exhaled as she spoke, "I need to talk to you."

"About?"

"I think you know what it's about."

Again, he stayed silent as if he was assessing the situation before he shut his locker and leaned against it, facing her. He gave her one good look up and down, and then his mouth twitched up in the corner.

"You want to know who Alice and William are."

She nodded, "I do. But more importantly I want to know how you know about them."

He smirked, "So you were lying, you do know them."

"You're changing the subject."

He chuckled.

"…so?"

"I don't really think this is the right place to talk about it."

She cocked her head to the side and squinted her eyes, "Well where is then?"

He looked from side to side, holding the strap of his backpack on one shoulder as he did, then his eyes made their way back to hers and he nodded towards the exit. "Let's go."

She raised her eyebrows, "You mean skip?"

"Are you scared?"

She felt her heart flutter, but truth be told, she wasn't scared of skipping at all.

"No, of course not."

"Well then, let's go."

She nodded, tightening her hand around the strap of her purse as she swallowed, and then followed close behind him.

"Where are we going?" Clare asked, sitting in the passengers seat of Eli's car. He'd informed her as they got in and he pulled out of the school parking lot, that he'd named him Morty. He spoke of his car as if it was a pet. Usually Clare would think this to be crazy, but was she really one to talk? Instead she found it cute and sort of looked over at him, watching him as he drove. She hadn't really taken a moment to appreciate how attractive he actually was since they'd met until this moment. She was sure he was the best looking boy she'd ever spoken to, but she didn't feel nervous like she did around other cute boys. No, her nervousness came from somewhere else completely. But still. felt her heart rate speed as she examined him and waited for his reply.

"I was thinking we could go to the place we first met."

Clare thought about this for a moment. "Err… but we've already left the school parking lot…"

He took his eyes away from the road for a moment to look at her and smirk, then looked back out the window.

The place he was speaking of, she realized as they stopped, was the city park she'd fainted the first time when she was younger.

"Eli…" she began as she followed his lead and exited the car, "I think you're confused… you and I… we've never been here together before."

"You're wrong." He said with a smile as he got out of the car and walked around the car to meet and walk beside her.

She thought as hard as she could, wondering if it was possible she'd been sleep walking, but she couldn't recall. Not even as they entered the park and walked along the sidewalk that wound through it.

It wasn't until they reached the playground and her eyes found the sandbox that it clicked.

A small gasp escaped from her lips as she stopped and looked at the very spot she'd had her first fainting spell when she was only 7 years old. The very spot she'd seen the mysterious young boy who sent her into a memory that had changer her life forever.

"Eli…" she whispered, unable to find her voice, "Was that… were you…"

"The boy in the park?" he asked with a smile as she sat at a bench near by, "Yeah, that was me."

"How did you… but…" she still couldn't find the words to speak as the memory flooded her mind.

"You're confused." he chuckled, "I don't blame you."

"You were that little boy?" she asked and sat beside him.

He nodded, "I saw you faint, and that's when I knew."

"Knew what?" She asked still confused.

He chuckled and his eyes locked with hers. She felt the warm flush of her cheeks and she turned away quickly, staring at the cement beneath them as she kicked her feet softly.

"I knew I had to spend the rest of my life with you."

Was it possible for your heart to jump out of your chest? Because at that moment, Clare's had accelerated to such speed that she wasn't sure if it was still beating or if it had stopped all together. She continued to keep her eyes on the same spot on the cement and tightened her fists.

"Of course, when you fainted I couldn't just stay around. How weird would a little boy watching a little girl he didn't even know seem? I was forced to go home, reluctantly, and I never saw you at this park again. Even though I begged my mom almost everyday to come back. I've lived only a few miles away my entire life, going to a completely different school, but I always felt a pull towards this town and I know now that it was because of you."

"Oh…" she spoke, trying to keep her voice as calm as she could.

"I'm not freaking you out am I?" he asked, turning his body towards her, with a look of distress on his face, "Damnit, I told myself I wouldn't do this…"

"No, you're not." She said reassuringly. And it was true, she hadn't felt weird the entire time, even though that would have been the logical reaction to a story like this.

He placed his hand softly on her chin and tilted her face up so that he could see it.

"You have the same eyes."

For the first time since she'd met him, Clare couldn't help but notice Eli seemed nervous.

"Eli," she began and with a new found confidence she grabbed his hands and held them in hers. To her extreme pleasure, he didn't pull them away, "Please tell me… Who are Alice and William?"

She asked the question, but she was afraid she already knew the answer. She could feel herself getting light headed and she was glad she was already sitting down.

"I think you know…" He smiled and tilted his head, "I've been looking for you my entire life, Alice."

She tried to hold back, but every nerve in her body buzzed with an electric current and the feeling of his hands in hers was now a distant memory. She felt her body go limp and the light drained from the world around her.

**(Sorry if there's any spelling errors or mistakes! That's what happens when you stay up all night writing haha. Please leave reviews. I love reading them!)**


	7. Chapter 7

_Why was she smelling smoke? She wheezed as she got up and when she took in a breath, she'd instantly choke. She tired to open her eyes but couldn't see because when she did, they burned ferociously. It felt like her lungs were clogged, being filled with something toxic that was enabling her from breathing right. She took in deep breaths, feeling weaker and weaker with each one, the scratching in her throat caused her to gag as she fell to the floor. Where was all this smoke coming from? She could hear the hear the roaring of the flames growing around her and she knew right away that she needed to get out. She stumbled across the floor, feeling in front of herself to find the way out. But all she could manage was to knock things over as she tried to search through the clouded smoke._

"_William!" She called out through the strangling pain in her throat, "WILLIAM!"  
Of course, nobody had heard her. She was home alone. Her parents had left to town and she'd stayed back to spend any secret moment with William that she could. He was coming, she knew he'd find her. He would save her and she'd have fresh breath in her lungs soon. She couldn't wait for that. _

_"William!" She heard herself call out again, weaker this time. She was almost inaudible over the sound of the cackling flames around her. They were getting closer and she could smell the burnt smell of the things around her. She laid against the floor, waiting for the arms of William to find her. She couldn't breathe anymore. She was suffocating slowly. And before she knew it, she'd closed her eyes, and it was over._

_

* * *

_

Clare woke with a horrible cough. She bolted right up into the sitting position and her hands instinctively went to her throat. She held onto it as she gasped for air, welcoming the relief of freshness against the raw scratched feeling. She calmed her breathing and looked around, confused to as where she was and fear washed over her.

"Are you okay?" A panicked voice from beside her asked and she felt a soft pair of hands touch her arms. She turned quickly, her heart still beating rapidly and saw Eli, then let out a sigh of relief.

"Where are we?" She asked and looked around. It was dim lit and she felt the pang of worry.

"Calm down." he smiled, "We're in the back of Morty."

"…Why?" Clare asked and scooted back an inch.

"You fainted again." he told her, "I didn't want to have you just laying on a bench in the park, so I brought you here. You weren't out for very long."

"Oh, well that's actually kind of sweet." she said, feeling her heart calm.

"What did you think I brought you here for?" he chuckled, "Afraid I'd take advantage of you?"

"I know how to take care of myself Eli." she scoffed and pushed her hair behind her ears.

Silence fell around them and she watched as he looked at her. It was comforting, like he was making sure she was alright. She felt safe around him, though she didn't know him much better than a stranger walking down the street. But she couldn't deny that there was something about his eyes that had recalled the vivid green of William's. There was something about him that drew her to him, and she couldn't doubt that at this second she wanted to kiss him very badly. But what had that vision been about? Had something terrible happened to Alice?

"Clare…" he began, his voice quieted to almost a whisper, "Can I ask you something?"

"That depends…" she spoke in just as soft of a reply.

"I was just wondering what you were dreaming about?" he asked, "When you fainted."

She froze, her eyes locking with his, "How do you know I dreamt about anything?"

"You were yelling while I was carrying you."

She could feel her cheeks rage with the warmth of her blush. She looked down at her hands and spoke, "I, uhm… it was nothing."

"Sure didn't sound like nothing."

She looked up at him and felt his eyes scrutinizing her. She didn't like it much, but the over protective feeling coming from him was too overwhelming to continue lying. "What exactly did you hear me say?"

He smirked and looked down, then back up at her, "You were yelling 'William' and coughing."

"Oh…" she whispered, "Well… Alice… she was stuck in smoke."

Eli gasped softly and held his head in his hand, "I was hoping you hadn't seen that yet. I was hoping you never would."

"What do you know?"

"Clare… Alice…" he began and scooted closer, taking her hand in his own, "Alice died in a house fire."

Her heart sunk, though she'd had a feeling that was what had happened. She hadn't doubted that for one second, "How… do you know all of this?" She asked.

He paused, assessing her emotions and then spoke, "I remember almost everything."

"Everything?"

"Almost. I still have blind spots, but my mind remembers practically everything about my life as William."

"So… you're telling the truth."

"You didn't believe me?"

"I'd like to believe that there's a heaven when you die."

He chuckled softly and shook his head, "There still might be. Nobody knows anything. I've done some studying about it, and some people think that when you come back, you come back because there's something still holding you here. In our case, it was each other."

"So… I was Alice in my past life, and you were William..."

He nodded and smiled, "I know this is probably overwhelming. I didn't want to push this on you, but you keep fainting…"

"I've been fainting since I saw you that time in the park when we were younger."

He blinked, "You didn't have any memories until then?"

"Nope, you brought them along."

"Wow."

"It's not so bad."

"I'm sorry. That must have made your life hell."

"It wasn't all so bad. I've started writing a book."

"About us?"

She nodded."Is it good?"

"It's a love story. I don't know where it's going yet, but it's good so far."

He smirked, "So you're saying we've made a good love story?"

She glared playfully, "Alice and William did."

"Same thing."

She stayed quiet, and in return he did the same. She looked up at him, and stared into his eyes. Imagining the brunette from her memories and it all fell around her so easily. She could find William's face perfectly in Eli's. It was like everything finally made sense, and she was where she belonged. She looked out the front of the hearse and realized the sun was going down outside around them and panic set in.

"Eli, I have to get home." she gasped, knowing she'd be in a mess of trouble for staying out so late without a word.

He sighed and she could hear the sadness in it and she looked back at him to see him scooting in closer. She felt her body tingle and ever nerve ignited with the feeling of his closeness. She looked away, then felt the warmth of his soft hand on her cheek and she looked back.

"As confused as you are right now, you did love me before and I think you could again. I didn't get nearly enough time with you in our past life."

She nodded and bit her lip. He was more than right. She felt her heart stutter, beating off course as it thumped in her chest, yelling at her erase the space between them.

"I'll do anything I have to do to get back to that."

She blinked and when she opened her eyes, he was closer to her before and every neuron in her body told her to kiss him. She tried to fight it, tried to pull herself back. But the further she tried to pull away, the closer her body leaned to his and within seconds their lips were against each others. She was sure she hadn't been alive before that moment. Everyone of her senses screamed with pleasure as he kissed her back and she was sure that _this was what she was meant to live for._

**(Sorry if it seems a bit rushed! I wanted to get something out here for you guys so you didn't lose interest (; But it was neccesary and the next chapter will be better I promise!)**


	8. Chapter 8

Clare was surprised by how fast and comfortably she fell for Eli. It wasn't too big of a shock, what with the news of their past lives. She'd always felt like Alice and William's love was some of the rarest of all. It was real, and it actually existed. It was pure, unlike most love in recent days. She longed to find a love like that, and if they really were Alice and William reincarnated, then she'd achieved it. She couldn't imagine being any luckier with her life. Girls envied her when she walked from class to class with her hand in Eli's. It was hard to ignore how attractive he was. But it wasn't too bad to where she had every girl wishing cruel things upon her. Eli was mysterious. He was dark and his exterior would push away even the most open minded people. Clare wasn't one to judge. She'd always been open minded, even if she was a little reserved. But she cared for Eli nonetheless, and she knew he cared for her. It was in the way he looked at her. The way he held himself around her, like there was nobody prouder than him. He would do anything for her, and it made her feel so special. Of course her parents were worried. Seeming love as deep as theirs was sometimes dangerous. They thought either Clare was going to do something she'd regret, or that she was going to end up with her heart broken.

But she wasn't worried about that. She felt so confident in this love that she'd grown to know her entire life, that she had faith nothing could break them. She wasn't, however, ready to tell anyone about the whole reincarnation thing. Even her best friend Alli would have thought she was crazy for it. Instead, she just let everyone think they were two regular teenagers who had caught the love bug.

She felt Eli squeeze her hand lightly as they held them intertwined while they walked down the hallways. The school day had come to an end, and as usual they were on their way to Morty to head to her house. Her parents might not have approved of their fast paced love, but they'd said they'd rather the two of them spend their time there where they could keep an eye on them, then parked somewhere in that God awful hearse of course, and Clare didn't mind. Anywhere she got to spend time with the dark haired, lighted eyed boy of her dreams, she was fine with it. What didn't settle well with her, was the fact that in her previous life, she hadn't gotten to spend their entire lives together. Apparently Alice had perished in the house fire only days before her and William were set to leave together for New York. She'd told her parents in the exact way Clare had acted it out for her own. Of course Alice's parents had her on lock in key every second after that. But the two of them had planned to run away anyways, even if they had to sneak. To bad those plans fell short. Clare had asked Eli once, what William had done after Alice had died. His face turned cold and he shook his head, only telling her, "Nothing."

But she could tell there was more to the story, and she was determined to find out. But for the time being, she let it go.

"So what are the plans for today?" He asked her as their arms swung slowly between them.

"Hmm, I don't know…" she began as they reached his car and both proceeded to get in. She looked out the window and with the horrible realization that she'd had something else to do, she signed and frowned over at him.

"What?" he asked with his eyebrow raised, "What did I do?"

"It's nothing you did." She said as he started Morty up, "I just remembered I have somewhere I have to be today, so we can't hang out."

"Somewhere being?"

"I can't tell you, it's a secret."

"Oh so now we have secrets." he chuckled, of course he was only joking, but she knew him enough to know that it bothered him. She wasn't about to tell him that she had to go see her therapist. Everyone else already thought she was crazy, she didn't need him thinking it.

She tilted her head to the side and smiled a kind smile at him, "Of course we don't. Only this one."

"Will I ever get to know?"

"Maybe someday."

"When will you realize that you can trust me?"

"I know I can, Eli. I've been able to for two lifetimes."

"Maybe even longer." He winked and Clare could feel her hurried heart swell with happiness as she watched his unforgettable smile spread across his face.

"It's alright I guess." He said as they continued to drive closer to Clare's house, "I've got something I need to do too. And since you're busy I guess getting it done now is better than never."

"Hmm, so you've got secrets too."

"Not a secret. Just something necessary that's not important for you to know." he laughed, thinking he was completely clever for coming up with this double standard.

"Well fine then." she said, looking at her on coming house. She stayed quiet, acting a bit butt hurt until his car was parked in front of her place. He put Morty into park and jumped out, running around to open her side door and she couldn't help but break a smile as she looked up at him. He was holding his hand out to her in the most gentleman like way, and of course she took it with a grin.  
"You think you're so clever, don't you?"

"If I wasn't, I doubt I'd have you." he smirked.

She chuckled then, "Wow, boys don't ever change, huh? Not even from their past lives."

* * *

Clare entered her therapists office later that afternoon, only a tiny bit nervous. She hadn't been there in over the entire week since her and Eli had officially become a couple. She hadn't felt the need, but that morning before she'd gotten picked up for school, her mom had told her that Dr. Irvington had called to schedule a follow up appointment to see how she was doing. She was reluctant at first, but she finally decided that it would be a good idea, and only fair, to give the woman who had helped her figure everything out some answers.

The same perky blonde greeted her at the desk as soon as she walked inside. She didn't notice her at first, until she gave her name.

"Clare Edwards!" she squeeled, "That's right! Dr. Irvington should be ready for you. Just go on down the hall."

Clare nodded and did just as she said, making her way down the too clean of a hallway. She was familiar with her surroundings, though she'd only been there once. But, as she was about to knock on the door, she realized it was already open. She was going to push it open further and go in, but she was frozen to the spot with the sound of a familiar voice.

"I told her everything you told me too." Eli's voice was hard to miss. What she didn't get, was what he was doing there.

"You're sure?" Dr. Irvington's voice replied. Clare couldn't see them, no matter how she tried to maneuver her view through the crack in the door.

"I'm positive. All of it."

"And she believed you?" the therapists asked astonished.

"Every word." she could feel her heart reacting to his voice like it always did, shaking and spreading unbearably.

"That's good. That's very good."

"I'm glad you think so."Clare could feel her heart shatter, turn cold and split in half, all at once. What was going on? Was everything all a lie? Had Dr. Irvington and Eli used her visions against her? Why would they do that? She couldn't believe it. Everything Eli had said, every thing he told her was for some sick twisted experiement? Nothing made sense at that moment. But one thing she was sure of, was that the tears that were running down her cheeks were real.

"Make sure you tell her more. Anything you can think of." the Doctor's words were distant in her head. It was pounding with the pain that shook from her chest.

"I will, don't worry."

She wanted to move, but her legs felt like jelly. She wanted to run into the room and yell and scream and cause them as much pain as she felt at that moment, but she couldn't even manage to.

"You've got to leave now." the woman's voice spoke, "She'll be here soon and I'll talk to her about it all."

"You'll tell me everything, won't you?" He asked with a sound in his voice which she almost mistook for something else. She knew his protective tone was nothing but a lie now.

She knew she had to move. She had to find the will and strength to move from the spot, or else he'd exit the room and see her there, the complete shattered wreck that he'd made her. She pushed herself from the wall where she stood and ran with all her might down the hall and out of the Therapists office, ignoring the worried words of the blonde at the desk. She heard the door fall closed behind her as she descended the steps and took off down the sidewalk. She felt the cold wind blow against her face, stinging where the tears turned her skin raw. She felt numb at this point and she continued to run as fast as she could, ignoring the new hole that was frozen in her chest. The breath fell from her lungs and she couldn't breathe, nor could she continue to keep herself up much longer because her legs ached so fiercely beneath her. Her muscles ached, and when she was sure she was far enough away that she'd see Eli nowhere around, she collapsed on a grassy patch by the sidewalk. The cold wetness of the ground beneath her soaked into the knees of her jeans, but she didn't care. She breathed in and out, trying to catch her breath, but settled on laying down on her 's when the dizziness began to set in. She panicked. Right now was the last moment she'd want a vision to come on, but as she cried harder and the tears continued to fall from her face, the light again drained from around her and her body relaxed into the darkness.

**(Sorry if it seems like some sentences/words are missing. Fanfiction likes to cut some things out for some reason -_-)**


	9. Chapter 9

_A knock on her window woke her. Her heart raced as she shot up in her bed and looked around. It was pitch black, as it usually was in her room in the middle of the night. But the knock was no mistake, and she stood up to pulled the curtain back and peered out into the dark night. There, down below was a face smiling back at her. It was a face that made her heart react like no one else could. She slowly and carefully slid the window open, being careful not to be too loud and put her head out._

"_William, what are you doing?"_

"_The lattice beneath your window," he scratched his head, "It's gone?"_

_She let out a huffing sigh and nodded, "My parents had it moved. They know I've been sneaking down it. They're afraid I'm going to run away from them."_

_"Come out the front door."_

_Again, she let out a sigh and leaned against the window frame with a look of sadness on her face, "My dad locked it from the other side."_

"_Damn Alice. They've really got you locked up."_

"_They're just afraid I'm going to leave with you and ruin my life. But I wouldn't ruin my life, you are my life, Damnit!"_

"_Calm down." he whispered and shushed her, "Wait a second, I'll be right back."_

_She nodded and closed her eyes, sitting inside the window. She felt the cool wind against her face and smiled as the breeze picked up through her hair._

_Within a few minutes, she heard rustling below and she looked down to see William's figure. He was holding something, and she was genuinely curious. She didn't have long to wonder, because just then he leaned what was obviously, a ladder against her house and even faster, he was climbing up it. She smiled giddily as she watched him climb closer to her._

_"There." he smiled at her as she reached her in the window. She smiled back and placed her hands on his cheeks._

_"Come here." he said, and pulled her face to his, kissing her softly. He was still smiling at her as he pulled back and spoke."I just wanted to make sure I got to give you a kiss goodnight."_

_

* * *

_

"Do you think she's alright?" The sound of a voice came into her mind as she groggily came back to reality.

She opened her eyes and blinked a few times, focusing on the scene above here. An older man and woman stood over her with a worried look on their faces. Clare almost panicked as she pushed herself upright, noticing the wetness on her back. Suddenly the memory of falling into the patch of grass came flooding back to her mind and she felt the aching in her heart begin to tear away at her chest.

"Are you alright?" The woman's voice spoke, "Do you need us to get you to the hospital?"

Clare looked at them with wide confused eyes and shook her head, she needed to get home. The sun was completely down and the only light around her was from the street lights above. Her parents were bound to kill her after this, if not ground her for the continuation of eternity. But at this point, that didn't seem so pushed herself up to her feet and gave them an apologetic look before she took off, running away in the direction of her house, ignoring the stinging want of tears in the corner of her she reached her house, she took in a deep breath as she placed her hand on the front door knob and sighed, then pushed it open. What was waiting for her on the other side, was exactly what she thought would mom came rushing at her with a look that was a mixture of fear, anger and relief all in one.

"Clare Diana Edwards!" She said with her voice loud, "Where on earth have you bean?"

"Do you have any idea what time it is? We had the cops out looking for you!" Her dad added in as he entered the room from the kitchen.

"Well they obviously didn't do too good of a job." Clare said in monotone, she really wasn't in the mood for this.

"Who do you think you are young lady?" her mom asked sternly, "You may think you're all grown up, but we are still your parents and we own you for another good few years. Were you out with Eli?"

There it was again. The stabbing pain in her chest. She glared as she clutched her hand to her chest and continued on, ignoring her parents.

"Clare!" he mom called after her, "You get back here right now."

She stopped and turned to her, with tears welling up in her eyes, "Mom, I'm not really in the mood for this, really."

She sniffed and frowned at her mom with a pleading look on her face. Just this once, she hoped more than anything that she'd understand her. And from the reaction on her moms face, she could tell that she did. Neither her mom or her dad said another word as she continued to the bathroom and shut the door behind proceeded to take the hottest shower she'd ever taken in her entire life, letting the hot water wash over her body.

She tried to stay calm, showing no emotion at all as she stood beneath the falling water and let the scalding water burn her skin. It wasn't like she didn't deserve the pain. She had been so stupid. How could she let herself be such an idiot? She had let her guard down and believed something so idiotic because more than anything, she wanted it to be the truth. She wanted to make sense of all the chaos that had gone on in her life. She wanted a little bit of normalcy admits the things that made no sense, and being with Eli had seemed like that. Being with him felt so… right. More right than anything in her life had felt before. But he'd hurt her. He's lied, and played with her emotions and the aching pain she felt now, was all because of finished her shower, and went to her room, locking the door behind her before she laid down and closed her eyes, allowing herself to fall into a deep sleep.

"Clare, open this door." She heard her moms voice, muffled by the inch of wood. She huffed and rolled over, covering her face with her though she ignored her, her mom pushed her door open.

"Clare, it's been 5 days. I know this is none of my business, and I know Eli broke your hear in some way, but you need to get over it and get back to school. You can't let your grades fall because of some immature boy." Clare glared at the wall, but didn't reply, "I'm seriously hun, since when do you let some boy affect you like this? I thought you were stronger than that."

That one hit Clare hard. She'd always thought she was _smarter_ than that. But her mom was right. It had been long enough, and her wallowing in her own self pity wasn't going to change anything."It's Monday, you have an hour to get ready, but you are going to school."

She sighed and sat up, throwing her blanket off of her and nodded.

"Fine." Her mom leaned forward and kissed her forehead, "I know things seem tough right now sweet heart, but he's just one boy. You'll move on and find someone better."

_That's what you think._ she thought to herself. She'd already thought he was her soul mate. What were the chances she'd ever let another boy get close to her?

The school day went by faster than she'd expected. Alli helped her avoid Eli at all costs, though Clare didn't share details with her. She'd only told her that it was over, and she never wanted to see him again, like most teenage girls 's why when she was standing by her locker at the end of the school day, she thought she was safe from him. But she was so wrong.

"Are you going to tell my why you're avoiding me?" she heard his voice speak from beside her and as she shut her locker and looked over at him, her heart stopped. No matter how much she wanted to hate him, she couldn't stop her heart from reaching escalading speeds when she looked at his continued to stare at him with no expression at all. Her body yearned to be close to him, to just reach out and grab him and kiss him and never let him go, but her mind kept her from doing so.

"You haven't returned my calls, you had your mom tell me you were sick whenever I came over, and all day long whenever I'd catch a glimpse of you, you'd suddenly disappear."

"I've been busy." She shrugged and averted her eyes, staring at the lockers beside them.

"That's not good enough." he shook his head, "You're not telling me something."

"Oh really?" she asked with disbelief, "You're going to accuse me of lying?"

"Give me a reason not to. Tell me what's really going on."

The stinging of tears fighting their way from her eyes began, and she did everything she could to not let them fall. She moved her eyes from the lockers, then to her feet and bit her lip as hard as she could to keep herself from crying.

"Clare…" he began with his voice soft, "I love you…"

"Don't." she snapped, "Don't say that."

"Why?"

She looked up at him, and he could see that her eyes were sniffed, "I heard you talking to Dr. Irvington."

She glared. She was stronger than this. She wouldn't let him see her be vulnerable. She fought back the tears and put herself back together, looking him in the eyes now. She still couldn't shake the want to kiss him, but she fought it.

"What are you talking about?" he asked confused.

"I'm not an idiot Eli, I heard you talking to her the other day when I went to see her. You were telling her that you'd told me everything she told you to. You lied to me! You played with my mind, for some sick reason I can't quite understand." she glared and turned to walk away, making it only a few steps before she felt his hand grab her arm and stop her.

He pulled her back to face him. He looked sad and confused, and for some reason _she_ felt guilt in her stomach. "Clare, Dr Irvington is my mom."

"Do you think I'm that stupid? Your last name is Goldsworthy, not Irvington."

"Clare, you've met my mom," he said with a scoff, "Does she really seem like a woman that would take another person's name? She kept her own last name when my dad and her got married."

Clare considered this for a moment, and realized that it was possible.

"Why did you tell her you'd told me everything she told you to?" She asked, still not convinced.

Eli looked around to make sure they weren't starting a scene, "Can we please talk about this somewhere else?"

She crossed her arms and glared, "No. I'm not going anywhere with you until you explain."

He sighed and dropped his head, "Clare, I've been having William's memories since I was 3 years old. My mom is the only person I've ever felt safe telling, well because her profession is listening to people. When I was about 10 years old she brought up the thought of reincarnation. When I told her I knew Alice lived in this town, she had to find you. She'd heard from one of your moms friends that you had fainting attacks and she jumped to conclusions that you were Alice, right away. She got a hold of your mom and told her all sorts of things to convince her to have you go to her, and well you know the rest. She's convinced that we were William and Alice in a past life, just like I am. And now that I've met you and had you, I'm more convinced than ever. Clare… I don't want to live without you now, I don't even think I could."

Clare let his words process in her mind. If he was telling the truth, she would feel like the worst human being in the entire world. But it did explain why no matter how hard she tried, that even though she should have hated him, she couldn't. Even now, after hearing his explanation she wanted nothing more than to just believe him and wrap her arms around him and never let go. She wanted to believe him, even if I was all a lie. But for some reason, she didn't think it was.

"I'm such an idiot." She sighed and placed her hand to her head.

"No," he began and took a step forward, wrapping his arms around her waist, "You're the most brilliant person I've ever met. I understand you thinking what you did. I mean how often do you hear about reincarnation these days? Nothing like this has happened to anyone else I know. It's pretty unbelievable."

"But I should have spoke to you first…" she began and buried her face in his chest, "It would have save me a lot of pain."

"I hate to think I caused you any sort of pain." he said, resting his cheek against her head, "I promised you I would never hurt you."

She sighed and inhaled, smelling his cologne and her heart fluttered. Neither of them cared about the students that scurried around them, they were all that mattered.

"Come on," he whispered as he ran his hands through her curls, "Let's go talk to my mom."

She nodded as she took a step back, and he took her hand in his own.


	10. Chapter 10

"What are you thinking?" Eli asked, breaking the silence that filled the car as they drove to Dr. Irvington's office.

She turned to him and looked at his profile view, trying to hide the happiness that filled her chest and turned back to look out the window, "I'm thinking… I want to make a detour."

He raised an eyebrow, "A detour? To where?"

"The public library. There's some things I want to read up on."

"Am I allowed to know what these things are?"

"I guess you'll find out when we get there." she smirked and continued to watch out the cold glass, staring up at the tall buildings of Toronto. Living their her entire life, she'd never gotten used to the tall, cold metal buildings. Everything about the city was so concrete, and for reasons unknown, that saddened her. She remembered the city in Alice's visions, and it was so much more beautiful back then. She let out a small sigh with memories of her past life in her mind, and closed her eyes, leaning against the cold glass of the window while they drove to the library.

* * *

"Okay, so what exactly is it we're looking for?" Eli's voice spoke from behind her as Clare made her way down each section of the library. She let her fingers trace across the frames of the books as she read them, carefully looking for something that would pertain to what she was looking for."Ah!" She made a sound of excitement as she found the section she was looking for and pulled out a heavy book. She continued to look around and pulled out several books."Really Clare?" He asked with a chuckle but grabbed the pile of books from her. He held them for her and continued to as she grabbed more and continued to build the pile up.

"Come on," she commanded, "Let's go sit at a table."

They sat at a table in the corner of the library, secluded from the other people who sat around them, and Clare began to read the books vigorously Eli was never one to be able to sit in silence. He tired to fill the time with helping Clare read, but ended up getting side tracked by her beauty. Not even since her past life had she changed much. He could recall countless hours sitting in the sun, just watching her as she read. She was one of the most intelegant people he'd ever met and he doubted that would ever change. She could recite most famous plays, when she was Alice, with ease because she'd read them so many times. And here she was, replaying the memory before him and she couldn't help but noticed his gleaming smile from the corner of her eye and looked up at

"What?" she asked and blushed, letting her hair fall in front of her face.

He shook his head and grabbed one of the books from their mountain high pile. He flipped through the book before him, not really seeing any of the pages. After countless minutes of silence that almost tore Eli apart, Clare finally spoke.

"Here… listen to this," she said and pulled a different book from beside the one in front of her. She flipped it open to a page she had ,marked and then read, "Reincarnation is believed to occur when the soul or spirit, after the death of the body, comes back to life in a newborn body. This phenomenon is also known as transmigration of the soul or metempsychosis."

"Okay, so?" Eli asked, confusion clear on his face.

"So that would mean that our souls were in William and Alice's before they were in ours."

"I already knew that." He smirked and leaned forward against the table, pushing his face closer to hers with a smirk on his face.

She tilted her head to the side and smiled in reply, and as he tried to move his face closer, she raised her hand up and pushed it against his face.

"Ooooo, denied." he chuckled and sat back in his chair, "Fine, what else did you discover?"

"Why don't you tell me some more of what you already know?" she raised and eyebrow and closed the book in front of her.

"Well," he began and scooted forward, resting his elbows on the table, "It's said that those you've done wrong in a past life will come back to get you in your next life, even without knowing."

"Sorta like Karma?"

"Exactly, So if a woman accidentally caused a car accident and another man involved dies…"

"He must have done something to wrong her in a past life…" Clare finished his sentence, fascination dancing over her face.

Eli nodded and sat back, "At least that's what they."

Clare let this note of knowledge fill her brain, "So why are we sent back to a new life?"

Eli shrugged, "Depends on what life lesson is still needed to be learned. You keep coming back until you get it right. Your soul remembers everything, no matter what."

"Only your mind doesn't." She stated.

"Well think about it, We have virtually no conscious recollection of even this current life. Most people are unable to recall 99% of the events of the life they're living now. Do you remember being born? Or your first few birthdays? Even what you had for lunch about a week ago? How about even the last conversation you had with someone, word for word, exactly? And most people forget about 50 percent of their dreams, five minutes after they have them anyways." Eli's eyes became very serious as he spoke, "Plus, it's a good thing most people don't remember past lives. Half the people these days can't even handle the ghosts of their present lives. To have to carry the ghosts of your past lives would be complete torture."

Clare watched as a dark frown covered Eli's usually light and calm face, "What about you? Have any ghosts in your past life?"

He looked at her and shook his head, the smile soon over taking him and he chuckled, "Nope. Only one beautiful girl who made it five hundred times worth living. If it's possible, I'll relive every life I ever have with you."

"But what if in a different life, we're put onto the earth a million miles away?" she asked curiously.

"Before you met me, you were drawn to me weren't you?"

She nodded.

"It's because there's a natural pull between us. Like an invisible thread, braided from my body to yours. Admit it, even now with only a few feet in between us, you feel yourself being pulled towards me."

She looked down at her hands on the table and nodded, trying to hide the pink that was rushing to her cheeks.

"I think that no matter where we are put on this world, you and I will always have this pull and we'll always find each other because our bodies will lead us there."

She smiled in reply to his words, but the look of sadness that had covered his face never left her mind. Not even as they got up and left for Dr. Irvington's office.

* * *

The time spent at Dr. Irvington's office was very unproductive. Of course she stood behind Eli's words by 100% and even pulled out old family pictures of him and her and his dad for more proof. Of course it made her feel a million times worse about her actions before. She even talked to her a little bit more about reincarnation, but in the end it wasn't much more help and she didn't learn much else other than she jumped to conclusions much too easy.

Eli came home with her that night, much to her parents surprise. Her mom did seem sort of pleased though. After the slump Clare had seemed to have fallen into, it was nice for her to see her happy again.

"Eli's just coming up to hang out for a little while." she said as the two of them made their way through the living room, hand in hand.

Clare's mom smiled and nodded, "Leave the door open."

Clare only rolled her eyes in embarrassment, and continued to her room.

"Oh how cute, they don't trust us together." Eli chuckled and pushed the door all the way open, leaving it there.

"Would you?"

He smiled wide, his eyes scrunched up and stood in the middle of the room with his arms crossed, "You're just biased though. I'm sure to your parents, we only look like two lust hungry, in love teenagers."

Clare smiled and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she looked into her eyes, "But aren't we?"

"Clare Edwards, you severely underestimate my love for you." he placed his hands on her hips and pulled their bodies together.

"And you I, Eli." she chuckled and leaned up, kissing him.

"How did I make it this far without you?" He asked in a whisper as he rubbed the tips of their noses softly together from side to side.

"That's a good question," she smiled, "Did you ever have anyone before me?"

She could feel his body tense slightly against her and she pulled back slightly, "I'm gonna take that as a yes?"

He nodded, "It meant nothing though."

She could feel a wave of jealousy wash over her and for some reason she couldn't bring common sense to her mind. Of course he wouldn't have waited for her forever, even she hadn't. But she still couldn't fight the jealousy that filled her mind.

"What about you?" He asked with eyebrow raised, "Have you loved before?"

She shook her head, "No, of course I've never loved anyone but you."

"You know what I mean." he chuckled.

"I've had a boyfriend of course, and crushes."

"Hmm, a boyfriend huh? Who was it? Anyone I know?"

She put her head down and spoke quietly, hoping he wouldn't hear, "K.C."

"K.C.?" he asked in disbelief, "Wow, I wouldn't figure the jock guy to be your type."

"He wasn't… he isn't." She sighed, "Ugh, let's just stopped. I'm definitely ashamed. But what about you? Who was this other girl?"

Again, his body became stiff and he sighed, "Her name was Julia."

"Pretty name." Clare mumbled.

"She was pretty." he nodded, "But nowhere as beautiful as you."

"Right. And what happened?"

He sighed and a long pause of silence filled the room.

"Eli…?"

"She's dead."

Clare couldn't think of a thing to reply, that had caught her off guard.

He began to explain, "It was an accident."

"You don't have to talk to me about it." She whispered.

"No, it's alright, because it was an accident." He spoke.

"…what happened?"

He took her hand and led her to her bed where he laid back and pulled her body against his. They laid there together and he continued to tell the story.  
"We got in a fight that night, over… something really stupid and not important. We yelled, fought, said things we didn't mean of course and she took off on her bike in the night. It was pouring rain, and begged her to stay or let me give her a ride, but she wouldn't. I couldn't talk any sense into her, and she left. I stood there for a good ten minutes, hating myself completely for letting her go. I was so mad, and angry with myself of course, so I did the first thing that came to mind. I got into Morty, and went to find her. The road was slippery, and it was just…"

He stopped and she could tell this story was hard for him to tell. She put her fingers on his lips and shook her head, "You don't have to go on."

"I hit her, Clare." He said and the sadness was heavy on his voice.

Clare could feel her heart stop. A knot clogged her throat and she had to swallow multiple times to clear it enough to speak without her voice cracking.

"Eli… I'm so sorry…"

"It's alright. It was an accident. I wasn't charged because her parents considered me a part of the family and stuff but still… I felt like I should have at least been punished a little bit. But I wasn't. And here I am, laying with the most beautiful girl in the world, and have become the luckiest guy in the world, though I've taken someone's life."

"Eli, it was an accident," Clare spoke, trying her hardest to make him happy again, "It's not like you meant to do it, so of course you deserve to be happy! You deserve all the happiness in the world. And I mean, if it was an accident… maybe she did something to you in your past life?"

For a third time, Eli's body tensed up. Of course she noticed it more this time now that her body was laying beside his.

"I have to go." he said and softly moved her body from his. She looked at him with confused eyes as he stood up.

"What?" she asked with a pout and watched as he turned around and bent down to kiss her softly.

"Nothing, it's just getting late and I'm sure your parents don't want to have to worry about us all night." He chuckled and stood back up, "I'll see you tomorrow at school."

"Alright." she nodded, the pout still on her face, "See you tomorrow."

And then she watched him leave.


	11. Chapter 11

The public library became Clare's best friend that week. She went back to read as much as she could, whenever she could. Because something you need to understand about Clare is that when she didn't understand something, she would read about it. As much as she could, she'd read about it. Eli of course didn't go with her most of the time, because quiet places like the library, weren't exactly his favorite thing.  
But on this specific day, Clare felt like reading up on something a little bit different than usual. Instead of the typical section she'd spent afternoons at, she headed towards the back of the library to the public records. It was easy enough to search the death records, but searching for Alice Desmond's name took hours. She'd almost given up, when she came across the old fragile news paper holding her death announcement. She squinted her tired eyes, and whispered the words aloud to herself.

"The Desmond Family announces with profound regret and sadness, the death of their first and only daughter, Alice Renee Desmond. The sad event happened on June 24th, 1944 due to a house fire that destroyed half of the Desmond manor."

"Alice was only the young age of 18 when she passed away. She was born March 17th, 1926 in Toronto Canada."

She set the obituary aside and found with it, an article from the local paper pertaining to her death. She skimmed through it, skipping details until she found something she considered interesting.

"Though the firemen and police have investigated the death of Alice Renee Desmond as a simple house fire, started from a spark that fell from the stove, The Desmond Family suspects foul play. They believe the fire wasn't an accident at all and that it was in fact started by someone they knew. There is an ongoing investigation of the situation, and an unknown source has mentioned that it is believed the Desmond Family's ranch hand had something to do with it."

Clare shook her head angry as she continued to read the words, "Mr. William Pierce and Mr. Alice Desmond had a secret fling going on behind her parents back, though Mr. Desmond had told them both multiple times that it was forbidden."

She tightened her fists in anger, the rage building even more inside of her as she continued on."Another disclosed source has told that Mr. Pierce was also seeing his sweetheart Abigail Jones at the time, and his infatuation with Ms. Desmond was purely for her money assets."

She stopped there and slammed the record book closed, shoving it as far across the table as she could. She didn't even want to look at it, because at that very moment her vision started to go blurry, and her grip on reality was slowly slipping further and further away. She tried to stand as her body vibrated, but felt her knees give out, before she fell heavily to the ground and the darkness around her blocked out everything.

* * *

"_She has no clue." a whispering voice spoke softly.  
It was a beautiful day. So bright and wonderful, and of course Alice's parents were unexpectedly out so she figured she would surprise William with a visit. He was working that day, but she had told him her parents would be home all afternoon long. She was sure he'd make no effort to see her when her Dad was around. Especially after he'd blown up on the two of them when he'd caught them kissing beneath the trees of the backyard. Alice had never seen her Dad yell so loud before in her entire life. His face was bright red, and the veins in his neck poked out in the most outrageously terrifying way. __But still, she was never going to let that keep them apart. There was nothing that could keep them away from each other, not even death. She'd loved him forever and she wasn't going to let anything change that._

_She approached William's working shed that resided on the outside of the Desmond lawn, tiptoeing so she didn't make a sound, for she wanted to surprise him._

_It wasn't until her hands were pressed up against the rough, jagged wood of the shed wall, that she heard the muffled sounds from inside._

_"You're a little close Abigail." She could make out William's voice perfectly, even through the thick wall _

_."Don't act like you don't like it, Will." the voice of Abigail chuckled, "You know you do. Don't worry, your little girl friend isn't anywhere around to catch us."_

_There was silence and a chill shot down her spine. Silence was bad, if people weren't talking, they were doing other things._

_"Abigail, stop. I can't…" his voice spoke awkwardly._

_"Oh come on William, you don't need _that girl _anymore." her voice was a little too loud for a whisper, "We both know you were only using her for her money, and now that you're grandfathers died and left you practically a fortune in his will, we can finally be together! Like it's supposed to be."_

_Again, silence fell inside the shead and struggling for air, Alice rushed back towards her house unable to listen to anything more. She couldn't let herself fall, she couldn't faint there, so close to them. She had to make her escape. But it was too late. Only a feet from her house, she fell to her knees and the wind was knocked from her lungs._

_

* * *

_

Clare's eyes opened and she found herself staring at the ceiling of the library. With a gasp, she jolted up right as fast as she thought possible for her own body. The lights in the building were brighter than she'd remembered and with a burst of air that escaped her lungs, she pushed herself up. She could feel the eyes of the people around her staring as she gathered her things and hurried as fast from the library, her cheeks burning in embarrassment.

"Clare Edwards, what did you do!" These were the first words that greeted Clare as she walked into school the next day. They came from her best friend Alli who stood by her locker with an upset look on her face.  
Clare was confused. She was sure she hadn't done anything out of the usual lately. She tried to rack her brain to think of what she could possibly be talking about when she was interrupted.

"Everyone is talking about your fainting," Alli explained, "They're saying you're some kind of freak or that you've got some kind of terminal illness. It's all over the school."

"What?" Clare asked distraught.

"Fitz was in the library yesterday, he said he saw you there and that he saw you faint. He said you were yelling, screeching like you were in pain and then suddenly you just stopped and jumped up, then left. Clare everyone think's you're possessed or something."

"I thought you said people thought I was terminally ill!"

"There's a bunch of different rumors, but that's not the point!" Alli spoke, her voice raised, "I thought all of this fainting nonsense had stopped…"

"Fitz…" Clare glared as she locked her eyes on the gangly boy who was standing down the hall. Since she was little, he'd always done anything possible to make her life hell. He was one of the boys who had tormented her on a daily bases in the sandbox countless times as a small girl, but of course that wasn't enough. Now he had to ruin her high school life as well.

"I don't know what's going on with you Clare…" Alli began to speak, but was stopped as a blonde girl walked by the two of them and spoke.

"Hey Clare," her voice was shrill and annoying, "My uncle's a priest. We could hold and exorcism for you if you need it… you freak."

Her and the friends that surrounded her giggled as they continued on down the hallway and Clare and Alli did nothing but sneer at them, but ignored them nonetheless.

"Ever since you've started hanging out with Eli, you've been acting weird Clare," Alli sighed, "And now you're fainting is worse from what I hear. Tell me what's going on."

But Clare only barely heard her. She was too busy focusing all of her anger on Fitz. She glared at him as she watched him laughing with his friends, and in that very moment he noticed her looking and with a smirk on his face he proceeded to pretend to faint, falling up against the locker he was standing right beside. His friends all snorted with laughter, sounding like a pack of hyenas and the rage that filled her was unbearable. She tightened her fists again and stormed right over to the spot where he stood and pulled her hand back, smacking him right in the face.  
She felt the sting in her palm burn, and she knew it had to have hurt him because she'd put every inch of her power into it.  
She breathed heavily as she looked at him. He was hunched to the side, holding his face with a look of disbelief across it.

"What the fuck bitch!" He yelled, standing up straight to face her. He moved his hand down from it to reveal a bright red mark surfacing, and a twinge of satisfaction struck her, but she didn't let it show.

She stood her ground with a fierce glare.  
"What in the world could have possibly caused you to be such an idiotic moron?" She yelled.

Fitz took a step forward, "What did you say?"

She couldn't deny that she felt fear in that moment. Skinny as he may have been, Fitz wasn't exactly a small guy. He had the look of a guy that could tear you a part, despite his stature.

"You're an asshole." She said, trying to keep confidence in her voice, she was going to shove him back, to create space between then, since he'd practically alleviated it, but she was stopped by his hands, which he wrapped tight around her wrists.

"You better shut your mouth you freak." he glared, putting more and more pressure on her wrists, digging his finger nails into them.

She felt the sting of her skin beginning to tear, and was about to scream out in pain, but a blur of dark erupted in her peripheral vision, and Fitz was suddenly on the ground, holding his face with a look of disbelief across it.  
Clare looked up to see Eli standing beside her with a pissed off look on his face. He turned to her and placed his hands on each side of her face, looking into her eyes.

"You okay?" He asked caringly and she nodded in reply.

He took her hand and lead her away from the fallen boy who was still holding his face next to the ground.  
Clare looked back and realized there was blood dripping onto the white linoleum floor and she figured Eli had broken his nose.


	12. Chapter 12

"Take me home, now." she demanded as she sat in the passengers seat of Morty and slammed the door closed. She glared out the window and didn't even dare look at Eli's face, but she knew he would be confused. Of course, he wouldn't know what she'd seen but she couldn't help herself from the anger that filled her mind.

"Uh, okay." he murmured and started the car up. It wasn't until they were only a few blocks from her house that he spoke again.

"Alright, what's wrong?" He asked completely confused, "As far as I remember I was just your knight in shining armor back there."

"I didn't need your help," She snapped, still keeping her eyes on the moving sidewalk outside of the car window, "I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, obviously," he said quietly.

She bit her tongue, unable to think of a witty retort, "Do me a favor next time and just let me handle myself."

"Clare, I was only trying to protect you."

"I don't need _you_ to protect me!" She shrieked, "I don't care how helpless and weak I was as Alice, I'm not her anymore! I'm Clare. Clare Edwards, and I am a strong, independent person and I don't need protecting. I've been protecting myself since I was a little girl. Okay?"

After a long pause, he nodded, "Fine. Okay, I'm sorry."

"Ughhh," she grunted, "What is wrong with you?"

"I don't get what you want Clare," He replied, "Should I agree with you, or not?"

"You always give me what I want. Why can't you just stand up for what you think, instead of just trying to make me happy?"

"Because that's what I'm here for Clare. To make you happy." He parked the car in front of Clare's house and they both sat there unmoving.

"Is that what William was in Alice's life for?" she raised her eyebrow.

"Yes, of course."

"Then why was he cheating on her with _Abigail?" _

Eli sat quietly not saying a word for a good few minutes and didn't even bother to look over at her. He undid his seat belt and got out, walking around to Clare's door and opened it for her.

She sighed heavily and glared as she stood from the car.

"Night." he said bluntly and then shut the door before going back to the drivers seat.

She waited with her arms crossed for him to say anything else, but instead she watched as he started Morty up and drove away.

* * *

"You're not allowed in there without an appointment!" the shrill voice of the blonde headed receptionist called out as Clare shoved the door to Dr. Irvington's room open.

She'd decided that afternoon as soon as she watched Eli drive away, that she needed to speak to the only other person she knew to know William. She'd barged right in, not glancing at another soul in the office waiting room as she did, determined to speak to her at that moment.

"Maggie?" Dr. Irvington questioned as she looked at the two of them by the door, "Is there a problem… Clare?"

"She just came in and rushed in here, I told her it wasn't allowed but she didn't listen."

Clare gnored the words of the blonde and spoke, "I need to ask you about William."

All was quiet, and Dr. Irvington let out a sigh that broke it before she nodded, "Alright Clare, take a seat. Maggie, push all of my appointments back, tell them something urgent came up."

Maggie nodded, but didn't forget to glare in Clare's direction as she left the room

Clare crossed her arms and made her way across the room to the pillow covered couch and took her seat, falling into the cushions .

Irvington watched her with focused eyes as she too took her usual spot in her chair and crossed her legs, "So Clare, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"First I need you to promise me something." she said, trying to make her voice sound more confident than she felt.

Dr. Irvington looked taken a back, but laced her fingers and nodded, "And what is that?"

"I need you to promise you'll be completely honest with me, and…" she paused, "You have to swear you will not tell Eli anything about this. You won't even tell him that I was here, okay?"

More silence passed as the woman contemplated her demands and then tilted her head, "Alright Clare, of course. There's a therapist, patient confidentiality in this room. Nothing will leave it."

Hesitantly, Clare believed her and let out a deep breath as she relaxed against the soft couch, "I need you to tell me everything you know about William. Who he was, what he was like. His personality, just… anything you can think of, I need to know."

The woman opposite her nodded, "Now, why do you need to know these things?"

Clare huffed, "I just do, okay? If I'm going to believe Eli and be with him, I need to know more about William and who he was. I know we bring traits from our past lives into our new ones, I've read about it. I just need to know what he brought from his."

She watched as Dr. Irvington looked back at her, then after a brief moment of silence, she began, "I've known William since Eli was a toddler. He used to pop out at random times, and I had no idea what was going on. First we thought maybe Eli just had a very big imagination. I thought possibly William was his imaginary friend, that is until William actually came to dinner with us once. He spoke so proper and kind, but with a southern slur. I was alright with thinking he was just acting as someone he'd seen on TV, until he started talking about how he was moving to Canada. I was confused of course, since we already lived there. But then he continued on about how he wasn't from Canada, he was from Georgia. And then when I started asking him questions about it, he could answer the perfectly. Like he'd looked things up online or something. Now keep in mind, he was only 3 years old. There was no way he'd know so much about Georgia. Places, how many miles it was from there to here and even how long it would take by train to get here. Still, I was confused. Why was my 3 year old speaking in such proper English? I could hardly get him dressed at night without a fight, but here he was even eating his peas without a fight."

"His visions started up so much sooner than mine..." Clare whispered to herself.

"I got to know William a lot over the years. He was such a smart, charming young man."

"He was charming?"

"Oh yes, very charming. William was the type of boy who was used to getting his way. Very, very persuasive. Of course Eli picked up on that charm, there's been few times he's gotten his way by acting like William. I'd always figured he was born naturally persuasive, but of course now I see that he'd gotten that from William."

"Was he… a good liar?"

Dr. Irvington paused, "Clare why are you asking me these questions, why don't you ask Eli?"

Clare shook her head, "We're… not seeing eye to eye right now."

"You can trust Eli... you have to have faith and just trust him."

"How do I know I can trust either of you?" Clare snapped, "I've been seeing a lot of things and I don't exactly know what to think. I feel like Alice is trying to show me something."

"What exactly have you seen?" The way Dr. Irvington asked her this sent a shiver up her spine. She didn't seem worried about Clare, she seemed more worried about something Clare might have found out. Clare shifted her weight in the seat and looked away.

"Just, a few things that are new to me. Usually I just see William and Alice together, but ever since I've met Eli there's other things coming out."

"Eli told me you saw Alice's death…" Dr. Irvington nodded, "That must have been hard for you."

"Wasn't exactly pleasant."

"Tragic. To think a house fire could take someone's life at such a young age. Such a pity."

"I'm not so sure it was a house fire Doctor."

There was a pause and Dr. Irvington scooted forward in her seat, "What exactly have you seen Alice?"

"…I'm Clare. I'm not Alice and it was nothing…" She stood from her seat on the couch, picking her purse up to slide on her shoulder as she did, "I've got to go."

"Are you sure? I have time..." The woman looked down at her watch then back up at Clare who was making her way towards the door.

"No, really I have to go." Clare nodded as she placed her hand on the golden door knob, "...But please, don't tell Eli about any of this."

"My lips are sealed."

Clare's trip to the therapists office had left a chill on her spine. She'd regretted going, and wished she'd stayed home instead. Dr. Irvington's behavior had been so out of character, and even a bit weird. Other than that, she'd learned that Eli was a natural born actor. His charm, plus his good look left Clare wondering if she could believe anything he'd said. Had William actually killed Alice? The evidence seemed to be piling up and it seemed so clear. The article in the paper, the vision of him in the shed with the mysterious woman and his secretive attitude about it all just left her thinking nothing but the worst. Had Alice been showing her these visions to warn her about him? Would he try to strike again and hurt Clare? After all, people did bring traits with them from their past lives, what if Eli was worried Clare would kill him on accident, since he'd ended her past life? It all was too much. Her head felt heavy, jumbled up and completely unlike her own. She called a taxi to take her home, and once she was there she trudged up to her room. She dropped her purse to the floor and made her way to her bed, her feel dragging as she did. She was about to lay back and close her eyes, when something on her desk table caught her eye. It was a yellow piece of paper, on it was a scribbled note.

_Clare,  
I'm so sorry about earlier. I guess I'm just too afraid to let you get hurt and I'm too afraid to hurt you. I really need to talk to you. What you said in the car really got to me and I think I should explain. Please see me? Tonight at 8. Meet me in the park at our bench. Please. I love you.  
-Eli_


	13. Chapter 13

__

"_You're wrong about him," a soft voice spoke, and Alice turned to see Abigail standing in her bedroom doorway. She was shocked at first, because she wasn't expecting her, but her heart settled and she sat the brush she was pulling through her hair down on the vanity in front of her._

"_Don't lie to me just to spare my feelings, Abigail." She sighed as she turned to the woman that caused the reflection in the mirror in front of her.  
Abigail was a beautiful, that fact was obvious. Her dark hair fell softly in curls that framed her face and blended perfectly with her fair skin. She had deep brown eyes that made you feel as if they reached into your soul every time she glanced into your direction. It was impossible not to fall in love with Abigail. Which is why Alice knew she'd be the perfect person to seduce William, if seduction with him was possible. It wasn't that Alice didn't trust William, she did. It was just that she was naturally a curious person. She worried about everything, and over thought every single detail of her life. William told her everyday that he loved her, and she wanted to believe that, but she needed the proof. So she set out with a plan. Abigail had been her best friend since she was only a toddler. They'd been inseparable from the moment they met and they'd felt more like sisters than merely friends. And she knew just how beautiful Abigail truly was, and just how easily William would fall for her if he had a wandering eye. So she asked her best friend to seduce him. She begged her, even bribed her because Abigail was such a sweet person that she wanted nothing to do with it. But in the end she obliged to help her best friend and she set the plan into action. Ocourse, Alice knew that she stood here now and was only telling her these things to spare her feelings. She'd heard them in the shed, she knew that something had happened, something she wouldn't want to hear._

_"Listen to me Alice." Abigail spoke softly as she approached her and placed both of her hands on each side of her face softly, "This man loves you with every inch of his heart, of that I am sure. I wouldn't lie to you."_

_Alice stayed silent, only being able to take in the smell of her best friends perfume. Even it was intoxicating. If what she was saying was true, then there was no way William didn't love her. To turn down Abigail would be a dumb man's mistake. She looked down at her lap, studying the floral print of her dress as she felt Abigail's hands slide from her face._

_"He's over the moon for you Alice," she spoke as she took a step back, "And if you push him away, you're a fool."_

_"I know Abby." Alice sighed, "I know. He's just too good to be true. And when I heard you two in the shed I just jumped to conclusions."_

_"I didn't know you would be there, I swear it. I meant nothing that I said, I was only trying to get him to do what you wanted to see if he would do."_

_"I know that Abby, I know." She sighed again, turning around to begin brushing her hair more in a nervous way, "I need to stop over thinking things."_

_They both stood there for a few seconds, silence filling the air around them. Alice continued to pull the brush through her hair and didn't speak, all she could think about was the undoubtiful fact that William loved her, and didn't want anyone more than he wanted her._

_The sound of Abigail sniffing the air broke the short silence."Do you smell smoke?"_

_Alice shook her head without even recognizing the question, her thoughts fluttering elsewhere and Abigail shrugged, putting it in the back of her mind._

"_You know there's something I forgot to mention…"_

_"What's that?" Alice asked, looking at the dark haired girl in the mirror._

_"He told me he was going to come here tonight…"_

_"Yes, we have plans."_

_"…to propose."_

_Alice's heart stopped dead. She would have never had expected it. Well she had, but she hadn't expected it would be so soon. William and her had always talked about being married and happily in love in a way that no one could stop them. They wanted to elope, to move away to New York and to continue to be together for the rest of their lives where no one could stop them from being who they were. Two people, madly in love. Alice dropped the brush and it hit the floor with a light thud, and Abigail hurried to her side._

_"Are you alright?" She asked and bent down to her level, "Alice, breathe."_

_She let out a huge gust of hair and inhaled rapidly, she hadn't even realized she'd stopped breathing in the first place._

_"Abigail…" she spoke suddenly, jolting her head upright to look at the brown headed beauty, "You should leave now. I think I'm going to take a nap before William shows up."_

_Abigail stood upright and tilted her head to the side, "Are you sure?" _

_"Yes, yes I'll be fine. Just… I need a nap." she chuckled and stood from her chair, moving towards the bed._

_"Alright, I'll call you later. I have to know everything."_

_Alice smiled and nodded as she watched her leave, then laid down to close her eyes. But she didn't wake to William as she'd hoped. Instead, she woke to an audacious cloud of thick, heavy smoke._

_

* * *

_

Clare had woken from her nap with a suffocating cough in her chest. She felt as if she was choking, yet again. She hated when she'd dreamt about Alice's death because she felt it, and it wasn't pleasant. She coughed repeatedly a few times, pounding on her chest to try and clear the smoke that wasn't there and then panicked as she looked at the digital clock on her bedside was going to be late to meet Eli. She jumped up, grabbed her coat and pulled it on before she raced from her room and all to the park.

Of course, there he sat on the very same bench he'd first announced his love for her. He faced away and didn't see her approaching, but she could tell he was checking his watch. He'd probably done it a few dozen times by now and he'd probably thought she'd decided against meeting him. She watched his shoulders fall in disappointment as she approached him, and as her feet crunched on the earth beneath her, his head whirled around to look in her his face, a smile spread wide as she came closer and closer and soon she was sat beside him.

"I'm glad you came." he said, relief heavy in his voice, "I didn't think you were going to."

"Well, I'm here… and there's something I want to talk to you about…"

"Wait, me first." He began and took her hand in his, "I wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have left like that. I was just upset by what you said."

"Yes, but that's what I wanted…" She began to speak, but she was interrupted again by his fast paced words.

"You've been accusing me of not loving you enough in almost each of our past lives and I was just so aggravated. I can't think of a way to convince you anymore than I've already tried."

"But I believe you…"

"I guess I just wanted it to be different this time. I just wanted you to be able to believe me, without the trouble."

"I know that..."

"I didn't get nearly enough time with you last time."

"Eli, stop." She demanded and held his hands firmly, "I need to know something."

He seemed caught off guard of course, but nodded for her to continue.

"Was Julia, Abigail?"

Frozen in front of her, he nodded again, "Yes."

"Then… you did love her..." She whispered the words softly.

"No." he shook his head.

"How can you sit here and say that, you were with her in this lifetime, how could you love her now if you didn't love her then?"

"The only reason I was with her was because I was hoping she'd bring me to you."

"How is that logical Eli? If she loved you, how could you possibly think that she'd lead you to me?"

"I was willing to take any lead I could to find you Clare. Hell, if I'd met Alice's Dad in this life I would have become his best friend if possible."

"I don't know if I should believe you…"

"Abigail loved me, Clare! She'd tried everything she could in William's life to try and seduce him away from Alice, it was almost desperately pathetic! He tried to be the gentleman about it, and gently push her away but it was no use!"

"There's still no proof that you're not lying about this! I talked to your mom. She told me about your natural ability to lie so well. You're a charmer, you'd do anything to get your way or make someone believe you."

"Clare do you hear yourself right now? Why would I be trying so hard to be with you if I loved Abigail? Don't you think I would have just given up after she'd died? William loved Alice, not Abigail. And she wasn't going to let that stop her from being with him. The only way he could get rid of her was to tell her the truth, he told her he was going to propose to Alice that very night. The night she was burned alive in that house fire."

"What are you trying to say Eli?"

"Abigail killed Alice, Clare."

"No." Clare shook her head, "You're wrong."

"William saw her leave your house that night, the night the fire started. He hadn't known at the time that she'd set the house on fire, but he saw her leave through the front door. Alice must not have seen her because her room was upstairs."

"Shut up Eli, you don't know what you're talking about!" She snapped, shoving his hands looked back at her with shock on his face.

"What do you mean?"

"Abigail wasn't really trying to seduce William. Abigail was Alice's best friend."

Confused, Eli shook his head, "No…"

"It's true. Everything Abigail had said to William was an act. She didn't love you, and she hadn't started the fire. She was at Alice's house to try and convince her that she was being irrational and stupid for not believing that William loved her as much as he said. She'd told her that he was going to propose and I know she didn't start the fire because in the middle of their conversation, she'd smelt the fire. And Alice had too, she was just too preoccupied with the fact that William was proposing to pay any logical attention to anything else."

Still, Eli didn't speak. He sat with his mouth open slightly and stared at the ground.

"What do you have to say now?" Clare questioned, "Now that you're only two excuses are dead."

"What?" he asked with a look of disbelief on his face.

"You can't blame Abigail as an excuse for Alice's death anymore. And the only other person who would know that she wasn't guilty, is dead as well and _you _killed her."

Shock escalated over Eli's face, "You think I killed Julia so she couldn't tell you the truth?"

"How could I possibly love you if I'd known you killed me?"

"I didn't kill you Clare! And neither did William! If what you're telling me is the truth then I actually killed an innocent girl!"

"You did kill her on purpose."

"No, not at all! I always thought that maybe I might have accidentally killed her because she'd done me wrong in the past life, that's the only reason I could get by without hating myself."

"How did she do you wrong? She didn't kill you."

"No, but she killed you."

Silence.

"Believe me that I love you Clare. Believe me that I didn't kill Alice."

"Prove it."

"I can't. If Abigail didn't kill Alice, then I don't know who did. Maybe it really was an accident!"

"That's not what the cops think."

"Does that even matter? It's not the 1940's anymore Clare!"

"It does matter, because I refuse to love a murderer."

And with that, she stood up in rage, her tiny hands balled into fist of rage as she stormed away, not even daring to look back at the dark boy sitting on the bench behind her. She tried to maintain the amount of rage that was bottled up inside of her, but she just couldn't. She was falling hard before she'd even reached the parking lot. She felt the tears fall from her eyes and she felt her knees get weak, but it wasn't for the reason she'd thought. Everything didn't get dark and she wasn't sucked into a vision she so desperately didn't want to see. Instead, she was consumed by the arms of the boy she'd just left deserted on the bench. He held her as she cried, for reason's unknown. She tried to pull herself together as they both stood up and continued to walk. He held her body close to his and the warmth between them covered her. She sniffled as she opened Morty's passenger door and sat her in it, then continued over to the drivers side. They sat in silence for a few moments and she didn't even dare to look over at him, ashamed at her own weakness.

"I'll take you home." he said softly and she thought she could hear the hint of sadness in his sniffed and nodded, but still the car didn't start. A few more moments of silence surrounded them and she felt her crying begin to end. She wiped the tears that had rolled down her cheeks on the sleeve of her jacket as she pulled herself together.

"I know that deep down, you don't think I killed you…" he said quietly and she finally turned to look at him. He was looking out the windshield when she had, but quickly looked down. She noticed however, the glimmer of tears welling up in his eyes and she felt her heart twist in disgust with herself, "If you really thought I was capable of killing you, you wouldn't still be here with me."

She didn't speak still, just continued to focus on the twisting pain in her chest. If she had truly believed it, why would she still long for him so badly? Why did she so badly want to reach out and wrap her arms caringly around him and tell him she was so sorry and wanted nothing more than to just lay with him for the rest of her life? Against her best judgment, deep inside she still believed that they were meant to be together until the end of time.

She sighed and looked back out the window, letting herself be punished by the continuous pain.

"Please… take me home."


	14. Chapter 14

"I am _so_ not doing this Clare." Alli's voice spoke as they sat together in the cafeteria. It had been weeks since Clare had accused Eli of killing her in their past life, and they hadn't spoken since. But though they hadn't spoken, she still loved him all the more. She'd arrive to school each day only to find a single red rose taped to her locker, no note at all. But though the time had passed, she still couldn't seem to get her mind off of the boy who had captured her heart.

"Please Alli. It's all I can think of to work. I need to know if Eli still has feeling's for me and this is the only plan I can think of to work."

Of course it would work. It had worked for Alice and Abigail, it couldn't fail for them either.

"How do you even know he'd go for me?"

"You're gorgeous, of course he'd go for you. If there was anyone he would go for, it would be you."

"I'm really flattered Clare. But I still don't think it'll work."

"The least you could do is try… please? For me?"

Alli sighed and look at the cafeteria door. Clare had been neglecting her the entire time she'd been with Eli, but now here she was begging to use her to find out if Eli was still in love with her.

"Clare, I have my own problems to worry about. Problems of which you haven't even cared about for these past weeks. What about me?"

"Alright. I promise, if you at least do this for me I will owe you the rest of my life! Please? I'm begging you. I just have to know."

Alli sighed, realizing as she did that there was no way she was going to get out of this. She figured she might as well take Clare up on her friendship slave offer if she was going to have to do the task at hand anyways.

"Fine, but you owe me!"

"Thank you thank you thank you thank you!"

"Where is he?"

"Well, lunch is almost over so he's most likely at his locker."

Alli stood up with an aggravated sigh and nodded, "Guess I'll see you in a bit."

With that she made her way out of the cafeteria and down the hall, trying not to let the embarrassment of what she was about to do show in her walk. Alli was a confident girl, she always had been and she had no problem flirting with boys. Some would even call her a natural flirt but the fact that she was about to do so with her best friend's ex made her anything but confident. She let out an annoyed as she saw him from down the hall, standing by his locker just as Clare had said he would be. He was rummaging through it aimlessly and she swallowed hard as she made the last few steps to approach him.

"Hey there." She said, perking up instantly with a flirty smile on her face, her hand pressing up against the locker beside looked up, raising his face to look at her and his eyebrow raised along with it. He assessed the situation, looking Alli up and down and then smirked before returning to what he had been doing in his locker.

"Hey."

"Sooooo…" Alli began slowly, moving a tiny bit closer. A move to which Eli didn't seem to mind, "Word in the halls is that you're newly available, any truth to these rumors?"

Eli moved back, shutting the locker door and leaned against it, the smirk still prominent on his face, "Possibly. Depends on who's asking?"

"Oh you know, maybe someone who would be interested in changing said rumors…" the devious look on Alli's face was beyond flirting. From any innocent bystander's point of view it would seem as if she was in the middle of trying to seduce the boy before her, and in some aspects she was.

"Oh really?" he asked, eyebrow still raised in a curious way, "And how would your best friend feel about that?"

Alli's guard fell slightly and she almost stumbled with her words, but she caught herself quickly and flashed him a wide grin.

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her… Right?"

Eli's eyes narrowed for a moment, as if he was thinking and then without another word he stepped forward, closing the space between Alli and him. This act had really caught her off guard and she lifted her hands to place them between the to of them, resting them against his chest.

"You know…" he began, his low voice sent a chill down Alli's spine, "You're a really beautiful girl."

Somehow the smirk that played on his face had affected Alli's heart beat and she took in a sharp breath, letting her hands slide a bit.

"And any boy would be more than lucky to call you theirs," he bit the edge of his lip and Alli blushed. She was a naturally confident person but the intensity of the look in his eyes had her stuttering for any sort of reaction, "I would love to see what it is about you that has all the other guys in this school chasing after you."

She blinked, "You would?"

"Oh certainly, I mean why not? You're gorgeous and you seem like a fun girl. But…"

Alli tilted her head, "But?"

"But my heart belongs to someone else. It always has and it always will. You can tell Clare that too, and let her know that this little game…" his eyebrow twitched up, "Isn't going to work again. Though it was a nice try."With his words he smirked and took a step back nodding to her as he left her speechless in that spot as he turned and walked away.

Alli's eyes narrowed, the confusion of his words set in as she herself turned back and she hurried to the cafeteria where she had left Clare waiting eagerly for her return. The moment she reproached the table, Clare's face lit up as their eyes met.

"So?" She asked readily, "How did it go?"

Alli rolled her eyes as she let out a sigh and took the seat beside her again, "He didn't buy it."

Clare nodded, "I shouldn't have expected that he would. I should find someone he doesn't know… I wonder if I could-"

Alli cut her off, "What is this all about Clare? The boy is head over heals for you and that's completely obvious. What happened? I mean last week you guys were all happy butterflies and rainbows and now you're trying to get him to go out with someone else?"

Clare sighed, "That's not what I'm trying for, I'm trying to see if he _would_ go for someone else. I just have to find someone he doesn't know is my best friend."

"You sound crazy. You know what else sounds crazy? The fact that he told me to tell you that _this little game isn't going to work again_." Alli mocked Eli's tone of voice and her face twisted in confusion as she looked back at her best friend, "If you've done this before and it failed then too, maybe you should just give up and realize the guy actually cares about you."

Clare's face fell and she tilted her head to the side. Alli was right. Eli wasn't going to fall for it now just like he hadn't fallen for it as William. He was smart. He'd always been smart and she knew that, even now. It was something she could never forget.

She parted ways with Alli then, thanking her again for helping her out and then promised she owed her big time, assuring her that her friendly slave offer was still valid. But as the rest of the day passed she wanted nothing more than to just get home. A headache attacked her mind and her thoughts raced and she was unable to get them to stop no matter how hard she tried. When she arrived home, she trudged through the evening as if nothing was wrong, trying to make her way through dinner with her parents without letting on that her head was pounding. It had gotten so bad that she had to politely excuse herself from the table and made her way quickly up to her room. The moment she finally made it up there she locked her door and then fell to her bed, letting her body relax back against her mattress with a heavy sigh. Her mind pounded in her temples as she closed her eyes and let the events of the past few months radiate through her head.

As she played the memories back, every detail, she began to think that the people around her weren't wrong when they'd labeled her as crazy. What she knew, or what she had been taught to know, was that she and Eli were the reincarnated souls of William and Alice. A young couple from the 1940's who had a forbidden love, seemingly more tragic to her than that of famous loves such as Romeo and Juliet. The visions she saw weren't even visions at all, but memories from the life she had once lived and she had been plagued with them from the moment she'd seen Eli in the park at such a young age. Was he really what had brought the memories upon her? Was Alice trying to warn her about the boy who had killed her in a previous life? Or was she trying to help her realize that this boy was the reincarnated version of the love of her life? At this point, she didn't know what to believe. But what she did know was that no matter what she learned, no matter what had happened, she couldn't seem to make herself not love Eli. She couldn't seem to make herself not trust him and even laying in her bed at that moment she longed to have him beside her. She clenched her fists, but kept her eyes closed as his face drifted into her mind. And then the face of William Pierce, a face she'd loved her entire life. The similarities between the two of them were impossible not to see.

But what did that mean, if William had in fact been the one to murder Alice? Was Eli now afraid that since he'd done her wrong in a past life that she would somehow take his life in their current one? Was he determined to take hers before she had a chance to take his own? But if that were the case, then why had he bothered to get close to her at all? To make her love him? She chuckled at that last thought, because he had never had to make her love him. She had loved him the moment their eyes had met. She thought back to what he had said in the library before.

_"There's a natural pull between us. Like an invisible thread, braided from my body to yours. Admit it, even now with only a few feet in between us, you feel yourself being pulled towards me."_

And it was completely true. She could feel it at that moment, that she was being tugged from the spot she laid in. Something, the invisible thread if it may be, was trying to draw her from there and she knew it would lead her to him. Part of her wanted to go with it, to follow the invisible pull to the spot where she knew he would be. It was like a constant, something that wouldn't stop and before she knew it she was standing from her bed and making her way from the room.

Foolish. It was the only word she could think of that could explain how she felt then as she tiptoed down the stairs. Her parents were nowhere to be seen, most likely in their room not worried at all about their daughter of whom they would never expect to sneak out and for that she was grateful. She hurried to the door and quietly slipped out, careful not to make a sound as she closed it behind her and made her way down the sidewalk. She had no idea where she was going, nor was she sure there was an exact location at all. No, instead she let the feeling of the pull that tugged her lead the way. She crossed her arms over her chest as she stared down at the dark concrete beneath her, not even paying attention to where she was going. But as she walked, pictures flashed before her mind. Memories she had remembered from Alice and William's life. The city around them, the smell of lemonade and warm grass as she laid in the yard watching William work. The feeling of his lips as they kissed her skin lightly. Or the way his hand fit so perfectly into her own. She felt her heart shake. They had been perfect, immaculate, and yet somehow she couldn't shake the thought that William had taken Alice's life. If not him, then who? The police had confirmed that it wasn't an accident and her memories had confirmed that it hadn't been Abigail, the girl that was Alice's best friend and wouldn't harm a hair on her head. Her parents had been away. She couldn't seem to think of anyone who would have wanted to hurt Alice. But then again she was sure there was more to Alice's life that she didn't know and hadn't seen.

She'd become so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't even noticed that her feet had brought her back to the city park. She looked up as she approached the gate and sighed. She had a feeling this was where she would end up and as she walked in, her eyes scanned the darkened area. Her heart beat began to speed up as she looked for any sign of life, one person in particular but as she approached the bench Eli had dubbed as theirs she felt slightly let down. No one else was there. She was completely alone. Again she sighed as she sat down on the bench and kicked her feet slowly above the ground.

For once she wanted to be able to not think. To not have all of these different thoughts rushing through her head and to not have the memories of someone else over powering those of her own. She closed her eyes and tried to think of a memory she had that didn't involve Alice or William but felt a crushing pain when she couldn't. Instead she saw the old fashioned buildings of Toronto in the 40's. She saw beautiful dresses and the old house that Alice had grown up in and the faces of Alice's parents. And with thinking of the memories she could feel herself beginning to get light headed and dizzy and she gasped as she opened her eyes, drawn out of her thoughts by the sound of earth crunching behind her and then suddenly someone's hands were over her eyes. Her immediate reaction was to feel scared, but for some reason she couldn't. Because she already knew who it was. His warm hands covered her eyes perfectly and she placed her hands over his, grabbing them and then swiftly pulled them away as she turned and looked up at the dark haired boy.

"How'd you know I was here?" She asked quietly as Eli walked around the bench and stood in front of her. His face was timid, and she could tell he was fearful that she would run away from him but he smiled nonetheless and tilted his head as if his answer was obvious.

"I think what the real question is, is why are you here? And at such a late hour. Don't you have a curfew?"

Clare lowered her head, "My parents don't know I left… and I don't really know why I'm here."

She bit her lip as her eyes moved back up to his and his smile made her heart flutter. It was timid yet caring and she couldn't help but feel the fighting urge to press her lips to his.  
Both of them stayed silent for a few moments, their eye contact never faltering as they both fought the urge to lessen the space between them. The feeling became so intense that Clare had to look away, breaking their hold.

"Clare…" he began, taking a step forward, "I really miss you."

She sighed, nodding as she looked down at the dirt beneath them but she didn't speak a word.

"You don't understand, I've loved you way too long to go without you another day…"

Clare scoffed and again her eyes shot up in his direction, "Would you stop that?"

"Stop what?" Eli asked confused.

"Stop saying things like that!" her voice raised now and it caught Eli off guard, "This isn't… you haven't… I'm not Alice! I'm Clare. You haven't loved me for too long because that wasn't us. It may have been us but it's not us. I'm Clare and you're Eli and what's between us… it's us. It's not them, it's us. So just stop it."

"But they were us. That was us. I can't help it if I still feel that love for you, I can't stop the way I feel."

Clare pushed herself up from the bench and took a step towards him, erasing a bit of the space between them as a new found confidence took her over and she looked him deep in the eyes.

"I want to live my own life Eli. I'm so tired of all of this. I want to be me! I can't keep living in the past. Alice was my past. William was your past too and it just… really sucks that everything about my current life has been taken over by the one I lived before. Is being Clare not good enough?"

Eli's face fell and his lips turned to a frown as he examined the brilliant blue eyes of the girl he loved.

"Of course you're enough. You've always been enough."

"Then stop comparing me to her. Stop comparing us to them. Whatever happened between William and Alice… that was them. If he killed her-"

Eli cut her off, "I didn't kill you."

But Clare lowered her face.

"What I mean is… William didn't kill Alice."

She sighed, "You seem so sure, but how can you know completely? My memories of that life throw me in so many different directions I never know what to think."

And then Eli himself sighed and he looked away briefly as he spoke. "Because I remember everything."

Clare looked back at him confused, her arms crossed over her chest, "What?"

"I remember almost every single detail of William's life, as if it's same one I'm living right now. Some of the moments, I can remember them as if they happened just yesterday. I guess that's why it's harder for me sometimes to decipher what happened between them and my real life now, because to me there was never really any dividing moment."

Clare didn't reply, but looked at him in silence, studying his face as her arms fell from her chest.

"I know that William didn't kill Alice because I remember how heart broken he had been. I remember the feeling of sadness he felt when he'd heard the news. I remember the way it felt when his heart broke and how heavily the depression of losing Alice took over him like a thick dark blanket that made it hard to breathe… and I remember how painful it felt when he took his own life."

Clare's breath caught in her throat and almost instantly a knot formed in it. She had to swallow hard a few times to get it down to find the ability to speak. "When what?"

"William killed himself Clare, only days after Alice had died in the fire. He shot himself with a shotgun in her family's shed. The cops had brought up the accusation that he had been the one to start the fire. Who else seemed more likely than the guy who lived on the farm with them? He couldn't handle it, for people to think he killed the one person he loved more than anything else in the world. And other than that he couldn't get past the fact that the girl he'd loved a million lifetimes before, was dead."

"A million lifetimes before…?" Clare asked confused.

Eli took another step forward, completely erasing the space between them and she could feel her heard pounding rapidly in her chest like the rampant wings of a hummingbird, "I told you Clare, I've loved you for too long… I've sort of loved you forever."

Silence filled the air for a few short moments.

"…how many times?" she asked, feeling the ability to breathe leave her chest.

"From what I can remember… at least five."

Five. They had lived three other lives together previous to the ones she could remember.

"How come you can remember them and I can't?" she asked, looking back up at him as he continued to look timidly back at her.

"I'm not sure. I honestly couldn't tell you. But I remember them all almost perfectly, but none as clear as the one before. They're like a really vivid dream that I've had, bits a pieces fade over time but I can still remember. You know déjà vu? I think that every time you feel it, it's basically you remembering one of your previous lives. Whether it's just something reminding you of a feeling, a moment, a smell. But… our love, how we are… it's nothing new to me. But the only time I ever lost you, was as William and Alice."

The faces of the couple she'd known her whole life flashed before her eyes once again that night and suddenly she felt light. The spinning dizzy feeling filled her mind and the earth beneath her began to spin in the old familiar way.

"I need to sit down." she said breathlessly and Eli's face filled with panic.

"No Clare, please." he began as he placed his hands softly to her cheeks, "Don't faint, not now. Don't fall into it. I need you here in the present time with me."

But his hands on her cheeks only furthered the feeling and her knees quivered. She knew it was only a matter of time until the darkness won her over and she was flooded with a memory from years before.

"Stay with me, please." Eli whispered, looking deep into her eyes and before either of the could say another word he pulled her face to his.

Suddenly, everything felt clear to her. The dizzy feeling left her head as their lips touched and a vibrating jolt fell over her body. The moment their lips pressed together, Clare was with him. She felt her heart flutter in her chest as she regained her strength and reached her hands up to his neck. His own hands found their way to her waist and he pulled her body close to his, their chest pressed tightly together as their hearts pounded feverishly. And as the kiss deepend, to Clare, nothing else mattered. Not their past lives, not the fact that Alice had been murdered or the silly memories that tormented her brain. All that mattered was that then and there, in her arms she held the boy she would always love, and would never love anything more.


End file.
